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Aryte

Hey, it's okay.

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No, really, it's okay.


 


I am not sure where this sentiment may have been reborn, or if it's just a matter of confusion with recent . . uh, fire and brimstone. But let me take this time to remind the old folks and expound for the new people:


 


I will not bite if you disagree with me.


I welcome your input. I want your input.


And I especially want to know negative sentiments.


 


My door is always open. Without exception. If you ever just want to be heard, or have something to gripe about regarding a choice I made (or the group overall), you are always welcome to express it to me. But do so tactfully. There are plenty of people here who are among my oldest and most trusted, who, oftentimes, have very polar opinions from my own. Sometimes we have pretty heated discussions about those opinions-- but we do so in an appropriate setting. Trust me. You can say some pretty terrible things about me or my ideas and it won't impact my opinion of you, at all. However, if you try to make those comments in a setting that, by context, erodes my standing as the group lead . . .


 


 


Not only are you probably on my shit list, but you'll likely not get anywhere close to your goal.


 


That said. Even if you do wind up on my shit list (see: recent people), that does not mean I hate you. I don't have any ill sentiments for Teron, Ratchet, or Salem. All the more power to them. But do not mistake my lack of "hate" for a lack of desire to respond. I will never let someone's show boating drive the narrative. I owe it to myself and to the group to respond. So, at times, you may see a little fire and brimstone. It isn't "drama." Drama is such an overused term. Drama is for children. No. It's just part of how things go. Sometimes people say stupid things, and it gets called to the carpet. Sometimes, people do shitty things, and it gets answered.


 


But, once again, I underline the key element here: if someone makes a public scene, it's going to get a public response. If someone brings up their concerns appropriately, it gets addressed. Teron could've PM'd me his every concern (even the one where he called me a "snarky bitch") and I'd be more than happy to discuss it with him. Ratchet could have told me after the meeting he didn't respect my choice enough to understand the importance in it, and I'd of been happy to explain to him why it's critical. Salem could've sent me that letter decrying my lack of professionalism because I respond to things in public, in private, and I'd of been happy to respond to him privately. Rather than in public. Where he posted it.


 


Nevertheless, that's fine. They made their own beds. We expected that there would be some tension due to this whole transition away from the SLMC. We've bled a few (5?) folks because of that. But such is normal for any major change we have ever made. And frankly, if they are so keen to view the "SLMC" as the critical piece that made the Ordo the Ordo . . . well, we don't want them anyways. Funny enough, a couple of them were on the other side of the fence looking at people years ago, saying "they just don't understand that we're evolving. They need to get with the times."


 


The future is ours, and always will be ours. So as long as we're willing to take it. :}


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I should respond to this somehow, specifically because I think I'm already partly to blame for at least some of this...


 


First off, I do want to thank you for writing this. It is actually reassuring that you'd consider this a matter that requires bringing some attention towards.


 


My first days back, witnessing both Ratchet and Salem being dealt with is quite unnerving. I feel like, even through Salem did present the resignation in an inappropriate manner, it also voiced genuine opinions.


 


Something must be done about events like these, however. My burning question is this: "What can be done?" Personally, I'd recommend outright deletion. If it is not fit to be for the public eye to see, why keep it there? Once again, it leads to that ever looming silence among newcomers to leave such things up for all to view... Not to say that has transpired was wrong on anyone's part, I simply wish that there were better ways to deal with occurences like these without being called out on censership or adding fuel to the fire.


 


The reason I left SLMC last year was because no matter where I went, there would always be the simple fact that it was easier to break the rules than to follow them. Such were the woes of the ROE, and the reason I concluded that SLMC wasn't for me. Now that your group moved away from that Archaic system, all I see are positve things. But some things still need work if we're to truely grow as a community.


 


I hope I am not offending anyone with writing this, that's the list thing I'd wish in spite of all this...


Edited by Recalibar Zaytsev
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I should respond to this somehow, specifically because I think I'm already partly to blame for at least some of this...

 

First off, I do want to thank you for writing this. It is actually reassuring that you'd consider this a matter that requires bringing some attention towards.

 

My first days back, witnessing both Ratchet and Salem being dealt with is quite unnerving. I feel like, even through Salem did present the resignation in an inappropriate manner, it also voiced genuine opinions.

 

Something must be done about events like these, however. My burning question is this: "What can be done?" Personally, I'd recommend outright deletion. If it is not fit to be for the public eye to see, why keep it there? Once again, it leads to that ever looming silence among newcomers to leave such things up for all to view... Not to say that has transpired was wrong on anyone's part, I simply wish that there were better ways to deal with occurences like these without being called out on censership or adding fuel to the fire.

 

The reason I left SLMC last year was because no matter where I went, there would always be the simple fact that it was easier to break the rules than to follow them. Such were the woes of the ROE, and the reason I concluded that SLMC wasn't for me. Now that your group moved away from that Archaic system, all I see are positve things. But some things still need work if we're to truely grow as a community.

 

I hope I am not offending anyone with writing this, that's the list thing I'd wish in spite of all this...

 

The reason we don't outright delete those kinds of topics, is because we wouldn't want to take away someone's right to say they're leaving, and furthermore we wouldn't want to make them feel any sort of validation if they try to claim we're censoring them and their accusations. Optimally, we would like for people to feel like if they're uncomfortable here, they can just say their goodbyes without writing out a entire letter about why they feel valid in trash-talking our group/members. If someone can just be mature enough to accept that they dislike the changes we're making, or that they're willing to put past their differences with individuals, and simply say "It's my time to leave, Goodbye", then we wouldn't see any threads like these.

 

The problem comes in, when they try to argue and throw out accusations or trash talk on individuals, while trying to leave. It's cowardly, for starters that someone would basically take their time to talk up a bunch of shit, and then leave and cower away from any retort. There have been many members of our group who have left that have been more than welcome to participate with us (Ethan, Karlhockey, Aelus, and many more I could list from the Aeternus group), even if they're just visiting or still participating with us unofficially, because none of these members saw fit to throw out accusations at Aryte or others on their way out.

 

None of us in this group have ever enjoyed seeing our members leave, we don't want them to leave, nor do we want to fight with them on their way out, but when they go out of their way to talk down on us as individuals or as a group, we as a community are going to defend ourselves and our members. That's just how it is.

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Optimally, we would like for people to feel like if they're uncomfortable here, they can just say their goodbyes without writing out a entire letter about why they feel valid in trash-talking our group/members. If someone can just be mature enough to accept that they dislike the changes we're making, or that they're willing to put past their differences with individuals, and simply say "It's my time to leave, Goodbye", then we wouldn't see any threads like these.

 

 

Case in point, several months ago, I became concerned with some things about the group and saw fit to resign.  I didn't write a long public diatribe in an attempt to cause a scene, I didn't try to inspire anyone to follow me, and I didn't go out of my way to undermine anyone's leadership.  In fact, I didn't explain anything to anyone.  I just let Aryte know I was done and bowed out quietly.  I took a week to clear my head, decided that my concerns were less important to me than the group had been, asked to be reinstated, and came back as though nothing had changed.

Now, I would like to state that this example does come with the caveat that this was my first and only ragequit after three and a half years of unwavering, exemplary service, and that if you make a habit of quitting and coming back, you will eventually be told to beat it.  But my point is that making an ass of yourself in public for the sake of trying to make a statement doesn't help anyone, especially when you can just talk to Aryte if you have a problem.  He's always been open and receptive to any concerns I've ever had, even the stupid ones (and there have been many), for all of the time that I've known him.

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