On Drama and the Value of Cooperation

[RazorFox]

Let's take a minute to talk about drama. Webster's Dictionary does not define drama as "Exaggerated and often needless interpersonal conflict or turmoil over trivial matters," but it really, truly should, because that is what the word is often used, albeit colloquially, to describe. Here in Ordo, we do our best to avoid it, having an entire service branch working full time to ensure that it's kept to a minimum, but unfortunately it does crop up from time to time.

It takes many forms across all levels. Maybe it's a squabble over policy amongst the officer corps. Maybe person A thinks person B broke a rule and B is calling A out over it on Vent and now A thinks that B is a dick and potentially also thinks he's out to get him. Maybe somebody stole somebody's boyfriend. Maybe there's an ongoing rivalry between two people who were in enemy militaries before joining Ordo. Maybe you built or scripted something for your squad and Munitorum didn't like it. There are all kinds of situations that can arise in our ever-growing community and can cause this kind of interpersonal bitterness.

Needless to say, Ordo is a big group comprised of all kinds of people from all over the place, and like any other large, diverse group with a strong social element to it, it is occasionally prone to certain kinds of problems which usually have one or more common driving factors behind them.

The factor which I find to be the most pervasive and arguably the most potentially damaging is cliquishness. Ordo is of course a group fundamentally divided into multiple parts which comprise a greater whole, in the form of squads, divisions, branches, etc. Functionally, this is a necessity for the group to operate efficiently. Socially, it has the potential for rivalries to form, whether it's alpha squads competing with each other for prestige and/or glory, one division perceiving another as arrogant, or whatever. Cliques don't have to necessarily be based on any established subgroup within Ordo either, i.e. a group of friends from a now-defunct military that joined Ordo together.

Now, I'm all for camaraderie. It's tremendously important to our group's cohesion, but there's an old Arabic proverb of which I'm very fond: "I against my brother, my brother and I against my cousin, my brother, my cousin, and I against the world." I think this sums up the Ordo mindset nicely. Though we may not always agree on things, it is critical to keep in mind, at all times, that we are part of the same whole working towards the same ends. As such, we must not reserve our camaraderie for our friends and acquaintences. We must view every other member of this group as a comrade and a brother in arms and never forget how to do that.

Case in point, I once asked Aryte a long time ago, when I was still an NCO, about the notion of a sort of Ordo "in-crowd," that I perceived at the time to exist. Aryte responded with the following:

[2008/12/11 19:36] Aryte Vesperia: Yes.

[2008/12/11 19:36] Aryte Vesperia: My in-crowd is the Ordo.

[2008/12/11 19:36] Aryte Vesperia: Lol.

This is something that really stuck with me, and since that conversation, I've viewed the entire group as my own in-crowd. Nobody is unworthy of my time or attention so long as they are Ordo, and everyone in this group is worthy of my respect. It is a principle that has been quite handsomely rewarding, by allowing me to better contribute to the group's overall functioning, and by opening up avenues of communication which would eventually honor me with the prestigious offices I have occupied during my career.

But cliquishness is just one root cause of drama. On a more personal level, there is the desire for rank or prestige. Think deep down about your approach to contributing to the group, or more specifically your motivations for contributing. Is it a desire to see the furtherance of the group, or to see the advancement of your own career and position?

Now, this can be a touchy issue. It's one which people can become very quickly defensive about, since it sounds like quite a selfish and ignoble thing to accuse someone of, as though anyone that would want to see themself advance in rank only wants such a thing out of a desire to be fawned over and praised at every turn for how awesome they are. Color me naive, but I'd like to believe that a vast, vast majority of Ordo members are of solid enough character that they're not motivated by such shallow things. In the off-chance that you're reading this and that really is all you want, fyi, officership and the Guard are 90% paperwork and responsibility and only 10% praise and telling people what to do. If all you want is to boss people around and convince yourself you're somehow superior, you can go ahead and leave all your Ordo groups now, please. Christoph and his big fluffy tail eagerly await you and your butt. Ordo officership isn't about that.

If you're still reading this, consider the following:

-If you've ever been despondent over being passed up for a promotion, then you're motivated by a desire for rank.

-If you've ever felt a desire to "prove yourself worthy" of some position or another, you're motivated by a desire for rank.

-If you've ever been jealous of someone else receiving a promotion, you're motivated by a desire for rank.

-If you've ever kissed up to an officer or Praetorian with the hopes of garnering their favor, you're (probably) motivated by a desire for rank.

And you know what? That's remarkably common. The rallying cry of most people trying really hard not to be "that guy" (not to be confused with thatguy Andel, who is a gentleman and a bro), is "I don't care about rank, I just want to serve!" That's an entirely noble sentiment in theory, but denying your true intentions to yourself will only muddle you up and throw you off. Your true attitude and mindset are pervasive, in that they manifest in everything you do.

Take a hypothetical situation involving E-5 Bob. E-5 Bob wants to become E-6 Bob really badly. E-5 Bob is kind of sort of friends with E-5 Steve. They both do their exams and have met the minimum time requisites for promotion, but come the weekly meeting. Steve gets E-6, and Bob remains E-5. Well Bob plays it cool and congratulates Steve but inside he's going "What the hell, I work hard too, why did Steve get promoted and not me?" So Bob starts to feel crappy and inadequate, like he wasn't good enough to get promoted, and it doesn't help that Steve has a fancy new rank insignia and enough QP to unlock the Subjugator or whatever and is making no secret that he's pleased as punch with his new toy and Bob decides he doensn't like Steve as much anymore. Four days later, Bob snaps on Steve in Vent for bragging about that goddamn Subjugator for the eighty millionth time and gets his ass CIR'd. Bad end.

How did this happen to Bob? All he wanted to do was serve, and he did that to the best of his ability, but he was deluding himself rather than confronting the real issue. He had the best intentions, but he gave into competetiveness without realizing he had done so, and in letting his emotions get the better of him, he created drama, and it bit him in the ass.

And herein we see the value of remembering that we're all part of a greater collective whole. Bob and Steve are both part of Ordo and therefore both integral and valuable parts of the group. There's absolutely no reason they should've been at odds with one another for any reason.

So we've explored some of the places where drama comes from, and have established that drama is more or less going to be an inevitability, so why avoid it like the plague? There are a few simple reasons for this.

First and foremost, Ordo has standards. These standards set us apart from most of the other groups out there. Drama, left unchecked, is the number one killer of militaries. Case in point, I saw more of it when I was in VG 1.0 than in nearly any other online community I've ever participated in, period.

Let me paint a picture for you: Imagine, if you will, a military without behavioral standards. Two soldiers get into a petty disagreement in IMs. This quickly devolves into name-calling, spills out into the open, and turns into teamkilling. Crossfire starts hitting innocent bystanders, who take notice and attempt to intervene with their own bullets. Next thing you know people are in aircraft dropping bombs on people. People are being blackscreened. The base has essentially turned into a giant free-for-all melee situation. The leader of the group is present and watching this, but rather than dealing with it, he joins in briefly, spends a few minutes snickering and jeering, and then logs off to go play Crysis or something. The situation tires itself out after about twenty minutes when people start logging off, and then the base is down to just a few AFK people.

This exact scenario played itself out at least once every week or two in Vanguard. Can you imagine if such a thing happened in Ordo? It's unthinkable, isn't it? It's been over two years since I've experienced such a thing, and yet it remains fresh in my mind as I now write this. I make it a point to remember this kind of bullshit because it embodies the reason we maintain such rigidly high standards of behavior. It is therefore up to you, as the backbone of our organization, to uphold those standards to the best of your ability.

Secondary, but no less important, is a slightly more abstract notion. Time we are forced to spend sorting out needless infighting and problems within the group is time that forces outside of the group are spending devising new ways to destroy us. There is absolutely a sycophantic element out there in the community that would give anything to see Ordo destroyed. They despise us for our success, for all that we have accomplished, and for the dogma of respect and maturity that we uphold. If anyone in this group ends up overly consumed by petty internal rivalries or infighting, then they are helping those people.

So next time you find yourself involved in a dramatic altercation of some sort or another, take a step back and try to look at the bigger picture. Hell, even just think back to this notecard. Ask yourself "Aren't there more important things to worry about?"

[Aryte]

This will definitely wind up in some sort of test, educational program, or .. something. Great read. Very impressed.

[Desereck Creeggan]

Reminds me of Rachel's Challenge that's circulating around the cities of Colorado right now. Rachel was the first victim of the Columbine High School shooting, and often wrote about compassion towards one another. The challenge, even though it's mainly a school thing but can be applied to every person, is to act compassionate to someone else. To, in her words, "start a chain reaction" where one act of kindness inspires another.

I've noticed when I greet a fellow enlisted who just graduated from Schola, (even though it may be a placebo) that they are generally more cheerful in going about their duties. Drama can never be eliminated, but it must be mitigated so that everyone has fun in their time while at Ordo.

Being kind to one another is one way to do this. They're here for the same thing you are. For fun. You never know, someone may do something kind for you and start one of these "chain reactions".

[Agares Tretiak]

I don't know about kindness, but respect, even for people you may personally disagree with or dislike, is an important part of being professional. I can honestly say that I have a great deal of respect and esteem for every single member of the Ordo, and will even go to say I like the vast majority of our members. I may be a hard ass with no sense of humor, but if there's ever anything wrong, you can rest assured I'll do my damned best to help you with the situation.

[RazorFox]

Respect was the central issue I had in mind when I wrote this.

[Dascede]

I don't know about kindness...

One catches more flies with honey than vinegar. (We all are more apt to be reasonable when treated kindly.)

[Agares Tretiak]

Yeah, but. I'm Agares. Merciless brutality is all I know. ;_;

Caring about people in the group and doing whatever you can for them as members is not the same as kindness.

[Qoph]

One catches more flies with honey than vinegar. (We all are more apt to be reasonable when treated kindly.)

I think the Mythbusters busted this :p

[BlackSergal]

Awesome write-up Zrazor!

We must never forget that it’s the journey, not the destination that brings us together here. Ordo would never be Ordo without the awesome people who are in it.

All Ranks… All Units… All the Same.