Kishoshima Dragonash Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 Over the last few weeks/months we've had several people decide to leave Ordo. The two single most popular reasons have been "I dont have any friends" or "I just dont like how things are." Let us keep in mind, that over that same period of time, the same individuals making said statements were rarely on base, rarely spoke to anyone, and when they WERE on base, they'd usually be off in a corner some where. Now.. you may be asking yourself "Why is YFNCG getting involved and bringing this up?" Short Answer: I care about you guys. Long Answer: Couple of reasons. First, Curia deals with recruitment of individuals into the Ordo, which also means part of our job is personnel retention. Second, Curia was founded and is designed to assist anyone and everyone in Ordo find their niche and to help resolve problems/issues/complaints/misunderstandings. Finally, we cant fix it if we dont know it's broken. Let's take a look at "I dont like the way things are run." One of the major patterns recurring in these departures is that these individuals DID voice some of their issues to someone... but they voiced it to their friends instead of taking it up the proper channels. There are 300+ individuals in Ordo, if I remember the math correctly that means there are roughly 20 to 30 officers (correct me if Im wrong with that count). Of that total number there are three in Curia.. Heather McKay, the Curia Consul Primus (the boss) and then both Kristian Kit and Kishoshima Dragonash (dats me) who are the Consul Secondii. If you do the math on -that- it means that you guys out number us 100:1. Kinda hard for the three of us to know everything and anything that's going on in Ordo constantly 24/7. Let's also not forget the backbones of Curia, our Consiliators and our Lictors. We have two consiliators, Arokh Takakura and Vinnie Lei. We have a small number of Lictors (and always looking for more), who are Achtai Coronet, Yoki Mistwalker, and Genesis Ronmark (There's also Sambazka and Jeff but both are on LOAs right now for school). Taking ALL of that into account now, the ratio has gone from 100:1 to roughly 40:1. That's still a LOT of ground to cover. Now, Milites Bob is probably asking right now "But YFNCG, what does all the Math mean?" Basically what this means is, we're here to help, but we cant help unless you take it upon yourself to let us know what's going on in that brain of yours. Curia's pretty good at reading people, but we cant read what's going on inside your mind.. you have to speak up and let us know. If you're confused or unhappy, contact one of our Consiliators... that's -exactly- what they're here for.. It's -exactly- what their jobs were created for.. to be someone -anyone- can approach and speak to about any topic and it be kept within the confines of -reasonable- confidentiality. If you come to one anyone in Ordo (not just curia) and say that you're feeding information to Army ABC, then yeah everyone's kinda obligated to report that to the AiR and up the chain of command. But 99.9% of anything you bring to anyone in Curia will be kept confidential unless some sort of confrontation is needed to resolve the issue. Let's also keep in mind that all the Officers in Ordo are here to help. They're not going to hold your hand, bottle feed you, burp you and change your diapers... but they'll give you a hand if it's within their power to do so. These are the very people who CAN improve the way Ordo operates.. its why they exist in the first place. The very same thing is true about the Praetorians.. if you see something that you think you have the solution to, contact someone in the Chain of Command (Officer/Praetorian) and let them know... Things stay the same unless we see a problem that needs to be fixed, and we cant see everything. Some general adivce when it comes to 'fixing things': Just do please keep one thing in mind... Try to stay within your chain of command when doing this. Give your own officers the chance to fix things before you take it outside your squad/flight. If you play the mommy/daddy game (not getting the answer you want from one person so you run to someone else to get it done) is going to ruin your credibility and whatever changes you want probably wont come to be, mainly because you shot yourself in the foot. If you have to step outside your chain of command, come to Curia, we have the tools available to assist you. The FIRST question we're going to ask you is "did you talk to your CO/XO.. if the answer is no, then we're going to point you to your CO/XO. If the answer is YES, then we're going to ask "how long ago?" Give the guys more than an hour or a day, they have to take things up THEIR chain of command to, if the situation is something that needs higher authority. Ok, onto a smaller but just as potent issue "I dont have any friends." Let's get something understood up front.. you're not gonna make friends if you're always standing around alone and not interacting with people. We're not gonna come running up to you with outstretched arms and start hugging and kissing you because you got into Ordo.. We're all adults. You dont make friends at work that way, or at school that way, so why do you expect it to be different here? On the flip side of things, if WE are approached (and I mean we as in all of Ordo) by "the new guy" take the freaking time to talk and get to know them.. there's NOTHING you're doing that is SOOOOO important that you cant take the time to talk to the guy for five minutes. "But Im doing important work, I cant be disturbed!!" Suck it up buttercup.. If Aryte can spend 3-4 hours a day, every day (if not more) talking to people.. usually complete strangers btw... you can take five minutes out of your life to talk to one of your own brothers or sisters. Normally, Curia is up up to it's eyeballs in work or conflict resolution or whatever, and find the time to answer IMs... and we have the Imperator to answer to if Curia doesnt clear out the application queue as quickly as they should. As much as I dont like having to talk to him about why Curia didnt do this or that, we still take the time to talk to people... you guys can do it too. For those of you out there that arent sociable... too bad. Ordo is a social group. If you want to be alone, go stand in the corner of your own parcel and be as alone as you want. For those of you that are standing alone in a corner and grumbling that noone likes you... it -might- be because you're standing in a corner, alone, grumbling that noone likes you. -You- have to put forth a little work and make the effort to get to know people, just as -we- have to take the effort to be open to others wanting to get to know -us-... It's a fact of life in a social environment. Doesnt mean that we're all gonna love one another and that we're all gonna be the best of friends and "take long hot showers in the wee hours of the morning together" (quote from Heartbreak Ridge), but it does mean that we need to take the time to try to cooperate and work/live together as best as possible. Ok, Ive rambled enough. Long and short of it is this.... The Officium Curia, The Officer Corps, The Praetorian Guard, are all here to help and we're all here to make sure you get onto the track that best suits you. Talk to us, let us know.. We cant fix what we dont know is broken. Your Friendly Neighborhood Curia Guy (YFNCG) Kisho. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Esva Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 (edited) 100% completelty agree with everything here...TY for the PSA Kisho and Kudos on the Heartbreak Ridge reference +1 Rep for yoooouuuuu Edited September 2, 2011 by Rykiana Ferina Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reinhardt Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 A note about the "I have no friends" logic some people use when quitting. yes friendships are great. BUT whats more important, in my nooblet opinion.. is a bond of brotherhood with each other. That means we MAY not be friends. We may actualy personaly hate each other privately. But we respect each other as soldiers, we know we are on the same side.. and if it comes down to the two of us vurses a horde of enemies, I'd trust the man to have my back just as I would have his. You dont get that bond the MINUTE you join. You work your ass off for it. You earn it by guarding together. You earn it by training together. You earn it by raiding together. You earn it by being active and involved. If you can establish a friendship at the same time as that bond.. it makes things all the better. But for me.. that bond alone.. is enough to keep me in Ordo; the level of trust, the feeling of greater family, knowing I can count on others and be counted on in turn. Dont confuse the bond of brotherhood... for asosciates... for friends. Each of those is different. And in Ordo, you will have all. The bond of brotherhood is required. Friendships.. are just a perk of the job. There is my two cents, from the newbies perspective. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drasamax Python Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 Like what the concept Aryte mentions during his graduation speeches is when you graduate schola. Make friends and be active and you'll most likely have a good time here. If you don't make many friends or be active you'll likely fall behind and possibly jump ship. Personally I consider everyone a friend/comrade here as soon as they get into Ordo's doors and am very open to those who need help. It is what drives me to log on everyday to see my Ordo based family. And its very hard to make me dislike anyone unless something very serious was done to undo that personally. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aryte Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 The moment you join, I don't friend you for t he sake of "I DUN WANNA SHOOTS U~" I friend you because I want you to feel comfortable to contact/approach me. I'm a busy person, but never too busy for you (unless you're Thatguy). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrescentSnow Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 ......but never too busy for you (unless you're Thatguy). Lol. When I had joined Ordo. I was shy and thinking are people going to like me. At times I will still have my nerves when speaking people on so many reasons on my nerves. The more had I had work along side people and the more they got knew me personally. I have gained some really cool friendship in Ordo. I agree with everyone's statement in this thread. Everyone is willing to help if you just muster up the courage to put forth the effort. Ordo as a whole will look out for you. You are part of Ordo and as Rein had put, brotherhood, sisterhood, family. We have a open door policy for a reason. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeffery Worbridge Posted September 3, 2011 Share Posted September 3, 2011 The moment you join, I don't friend you for t he sake of "I DUN WANNA SHOOTS U~" I friend you because I want you to feel comfortable to contact/approach me. I'm a busy person, but never too busy for you (unless you're Thatguy). Thus is true. Aryte even friended me, even after I had said some not so nice things about him~ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tsukiyomi Yuhara Posted September 3, 2011 Share Posted September 3, 2011 As the co for about 75% of new recruits I tend to make it a point to be as approachable as possible. Wether they remain in my squad or not, I feel it is my privledge to befriend everyone in Ordo.With that said, I to have had my times where I felt a need to say something. I spoke to my friends about it, they just happened to be my CO, and Aryte himself. On numerous occasions they have given me the drive to press on. I implore everyone with an issue about anything ordo related, to speak to someone about it. Your CO, Curia, an officer, or Aryte himself. Numerous times I've met people who come across intmidated, worried, or just shy about speaking thier mind. It's ok to discuss what's bothering you, if you don't say something, nothing can change. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arokh Takakura Posted September 3, 2011 Share Posted September 3, 2011 Help us, to help you, help yourself! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
or10nsharkfin Posted September 3, 2011 Share Posted September 3, 2011 Everybody's my friend! 8D But yeah, I completely agree. It seemed a little bit daunting, at first, as soon as I graduated from Schola. I didn't know where I was going to be able to fit in, and whether or not I would enjoy it here. The fact of the matter is, the Ordo has been maintained as the sole reason I even log on to Second Life, anymore, and that is because I've found a community here that is open, accepting, and fun to be around. I know that I wouldn't have enjoyed it anywhere else. Being open about oneself is a good way to find friends. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
George Reisman Posted September 3, 2011 Share Posted September 3, 2011 (most) of my friends quit or went inactive. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Huttser Posted September 3, 2011 Share Posted September 3, 2011 All of my friends quit or went inactive. Oh thanks, FINE THEN BE ALONE Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeffery Worbridge Posted September 3, 2011 Share Posted September 3, 2011 (most) of my friends quit or went inactive. I'm sorry that I left you with the dog. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
