Some Old Writings

[Esva]

Hey all,

after going through my inventory recently I found some of my old writings, things i used to just jot down when i was bored, and thought i would post them here....enjoy ^_^

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Dawn of the Sun

I sit many days at a beach I love so much, I watch the waves role in & the birds flying high. The palm trees sway gently in the breeze, but then my heart begins to Sink in the sea of sadness. A sadness not of love or hurt, not of fear or loneliness, but a Sadness of loss, a loss of the sun. Its warmth its glow gently choked by the envious darkness on the night sky, the eternal cat and mouse game of light over dark and dark over light. The galactic game of cat & mouse plays out before my very eye's & my heart weeps as the sun slowly dies, & as i take pleasure in the last of the days warmth my heart screams in pain for the sun to rise once more.

The darkness roles in, and the waves that lapped at my feet now role in with violence, as if enraged by the moon. I watch as it stands proud amongst the abyss of black, the stars shimmering & shining along with it. My gaze is captured by the beauty of the night, its soft elegance snaring my senses, and slowly my heart gives way to the vision I see before me.

I watch for hours as the moon does its graceful dance across the night sky with the stars as it's orchestra, then my heart lifts once more as the faintest of light breaks on the horizon. The golden light of a new days sun, the yellow hue of serenity, the orange glow of passion and the other many colours that bring peace to my heart.

As if the sun was healing the earth, the palm trees that tower above me slow their sway to a gradual stop, the waves that crashed so violently before me now smoothed till the ocean seemed but a mill pond, calm, quiet & serine. The air I breathed smelt sweet and filled my lungs with a hope of another fantastic day, with the sun, the majesty of life towering high on its throne.

As the sun moves higher, slaying the darkness with the weapon of light, I smile softly and wish for the night to fade to day. The light shimmers of the water as it gently breaks against the shore and the warmth begins to back the sand. I close my eyes & rift into a peaceful sleep knowing the feeling of serenity, in the days protective rays.

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Sins of the Chosen

I lay here, the some of all fear’s burning in my soul, as if hell itself had released the fire and brimstone upon heaven, both colliding in a cataclysmic war of might & strength. The passion rages deep within the fire of my soul, the want to bay blood, destroy a soul and devour what is good in the universe. I close my eye’s, my mind constantly creating and destroying worlds, stars, entire universe’s, loved ones and mortal enemies.

Then serenity, my mind clear the path ahead laid out before me, exhilaration, agility, stamina, adrenaline, all this fills my soul my heart and mind, as the air rushes past me, the light of the outside worlds casting shadows across my eye’s as I rip through the air. My heart pulses with a thrill as the world…my world flashes past, memories of places and people streak through my mind. Then my heart skips a beat as I see her eye’s, hear her voice, and feel the blade of my weapon slice through the air. My eye’s open to a world, alien, strange, unwelcoming. My focus is drawn to the white silk of the snow beneath my feet, so serine, so pure and untouched, I fall to my knees, my weapon striking hard behind me, and I grin at the feel of flesh tearing across it’s edge, and the snow weeps its crimson hatred, the blood flows, and the tears fall.

My heart beats with the fear, and the elation of what had just happened, then darkness fills my eye’s once more, am I now truly awake ? Is this the world I left ?. I look at an image beside my bed, and smile softly at her eye’s, then pain grips and tears at my heart once more, and again tears begin to fall.

The angel’s of my past now dead, I remain here solitary……my path clouded and uncertain, for now I walk alone…there will only be one guiding light amongst the darkness of my soul, and that is the force.

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Heart of the Blade

In the wilderness that is my mind I see darkness befall many lands. Thought & emotion destroyed, forced to kneel before the great oppressor. And even the beauty of a setting sun behind the mountains, the sky on fire in a riot of radiant colours can quell the darkness that inhabits me.

The war of darkness & light lost to the voids of time, but even time must serve its master and carry me along on its journey. Maybe if I give myself completely to it, I may find an answer, an answer to the darkness in my mind, the same darkness that now threatens my heart.

Hours become day’s which in turn become years , and so many passed before I realized, realized that the power, the essence, the agony of my heart would be the weapon I need to strike the darkness and cast it aside. The glory and the wonder would be mine if I flourished all power up high, gave my soul so it me be crafted into the hilt and my heart so it may be forged as a blade, but alas when the hour of confrontation nears, my heart skipped a beat, my soul dissolved for the oppressor of darkness had been slain, laid at my feet and splashed to the four winds of oblivion and shame…..by her eyes.

As I catch the gaze of the angel that struck down the destroyer of the darkness that haunted my waking thoughts, my deepest dreams and inflicted nightmares, my lips betray my thoughts in soft word’s, and I hear myself speak in hushed, whispered ways “If I only had one last breath or the choice to love, I would use that breath to tell you I love you”. For it was this angel, this angel that freed my mind from the oblivion of darkness surrounding me, released what was lost in voids of despair, chasms of pain and returned me from a land where the sun refused and failed to shine through the darkness that was my mind.

And now as I look deep into those eyes, I now realise that all I needed, the greatest power through space and time, was the love of this woman, and the power of her eyes.

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Flight 359

The sweet solitude and the sense of self, along with the desire of life burning deep within a soul. My world so empty yet life is all around me. The sounds and presence of people, so close but oh so far away, and above the din and cacophony of the people I hear the sweetness of life its self as it sweeps me away to a world so strange.

I do not journey alone, yet I share it with no one, and then my senses assaulted, driven to madness with excitement & joy. The sweet solitude, the desire and sense of self shattered as I am carried away by a force far beyond my control.

A lump deep in my throat threatens to end my life by denying me air, my heart beats faster before skipping a vital beat, and then ..... Then I ascend. Ascension towards the moon and the stars, my emotions reaching out towards the majesty of the universe followed and trailed by my hand in tow. A wantonness to touch the universe its self. And then I frown in despair and sadness as my hand touches the barrier between us, denying my right to touch the glory of the stars, to feel graced by the universe. And my heart sinks and I release a deep needing sigh.

Now all I can do is watch, wait & hope for a destiny, my destiny to come to me, to be mine as I am carried away on flight three fifty nine.

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Ghost's of War

I sat there many a day waiting for the hours to pass in their slow painful way. Each moment grated like sandpaper against my senses, the only relief, the only rest bit a bullet in the air. I had answered the call, the march to arms leaving all and everything behind, even the woman who had my heart and now who haunts my mind. As the drums, so relentless in my thoughts hammer their beat I grip my trusted defence, my weapon of destruction death and war and I prepare to meet my fate.

The rain falls and soaks me from head to toe, the mud stained my clothes and my appetite to do what is right washes away more and more with each drop of rain & each shot fired and then despair begins to shake my hand. A time before we sang in song and glory, but now there was no songs only the crimson life of those I called brother splashed and slain to the ground, then on the edge of perception a sound penetrates deep, was that the call ? the signal to begin ?.

My riffle in my hand, the helmet on my head , I hauled myself to my feet and climbed the ladder high. I hauled my battered body and senses high, over the top to face the unknown, and in days just gone past I had turned just seventeen, yet now I stay frozen watching my brothers fall to join me, for I died....in nineteen fourteen.