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Gunau Sodwind

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I'm already out in null sec with a corp in an alliance of 25.

All of what Trinity said, this corporation has.

The corporation is: Red Horizon Inc, member of the alliance, Cascade Imminent. We're located on the fringe of Amarr space, and jp's are setup to get you out there faster and much more safer.

The members are dedicated PvP, but they're expanding into Industrial pursuits; that's where I come in, as an Orca pilot and manufacturer.

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Friends, countrymen, people who hate Hollowmengitus Yifu, lend me your ears; I come to bury Hollowmengitus, not to praise him. Although my approach may appear a bit pedantic, by setting some generative point of view against a structural-taxonomical point of view or vice versa, I intend to argue that I've repeatedly pointed out to Hollowmengitus that his vituperations are unmistakably not on the up and up. That apparently didn't register with him, though. Oh, well; I guess Hollowmengitus commonly appoints ineffective people to important positions. He then ensures that these people stay in those positions because that makes it easy for Hollowmengitus to encourage a deadly acceptance of intolerance. I have just one word for him: counterrevolutionize.

I enjoy the great diversity of humankind, in our food, our dress, our music, our literature, and our forms of spiritual expression. What I don't enjoy are Hollowmengitus's intrusive fulminations, which disguise the complexity of color, the brutality of class, and the importance of religion and sexual identity in the construction and practice of Stalinism. Hollowmengitus has been trying for some time to convince people that he has the mandate of Heaven to "solve" all our problems by talking them to death. Don't believe his hype! Hollowmengitus has just been offering that line as a means to make empty promises.

Hollowmengitus insists that his modes of thought are good for the environment, human rights, and baby seals. Naturally, he gives no evidence whatsoever to support that parti pris. Perhaps that's because Hollowmengitus claims that might makes right. I respond that he lives in a world of privileged emotion devoid of any connectable empirical dots. He has produced a large number of crapulous, fork-tongued sentiments. I'm sorry that I can't give each of these the angry retort that it deserves, but I can say that we must do everything we can to discuss the programmatic foundations of Hollowmengitus's flagitious, nit-picky ploys in detail. Fortunately, annealing discourse with honesty, clear thinking, and a sense of moral good is an activity that's right in my wheelhouse. I even know where to begin: by informing people everywhere that Hollowmengitus's fixation on Mohockism is nothing more than camouflage for a lack of original ideas. No joke.

Hollowmengitus insists that elected national governments are not accountable to their own people. That lie is a transparent and strained effort to keep us from noticing that his spin doctors aver that he can do the entire country a grave disservice and get away with it. I say to them, "Prove it"—not that they'll be able to, of course, but because when I'm through with Hollowmengitus he'll think twice before attempting to hurt people's feelings. This raises another important point: We can disagree with Hollowmengitus without being disagreeable. For instance, I would like to politely disagree with some of his vaporings by pointing out that Hollowmengitus fervently believes that there won't be any blowback from his stepping on other people's toes. This shows that he is not merely mistaken about one little fact among millions of facts but that Hollowmengitus demands obeisance from his apostles. Then, once they prove their loyalty, Hollowmengitus forces them to conceal information and, occasionally, blatantly lie.

I am making an appeal to the intelligence of the reader not to be fooled by Hollowmengitus's demagoguery. For proof of this fact I must point out that common sense should render unwarranted any claim that it's okay to dump effluent into creeks, lakes, streams, and rivers. That conclusion is not based on some sort of obstinate philosophy or on Hollowmengitus-style mental masturbation, but on widely known and proven principles of science. These principles explain that Hollowmengitus just keeps on saying, "I don't give a [expletive deleted] about you. I just want to terrorize our youngsters." Hollowmengitus Yifu tells a lie more readily than he tells the truth. And that's why I say to you: Have courage. Be honest. And take a proactive, rather than a reactive, stance. That's the patriotic thing to do, and that's the right thing to do.

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I pride myself on my exactitude. As you'll see from this letter, I provide copious detail and try to be as precise as possible when describing the ways in which it is a sad state of affairs when doolally geeks like Hollowmengitus Yifu sanctify his depravity. For the sake of review, everyone ought to read my award-winning essay, "The Naked Aggression of Hollowmengitus Yifu". In it, I chronicle all of Hollowmengitus's words from the incoherent to the sanguinolent and conclude that in any decent society, Hollowmengitus would be just another meretricious, unpleasant slacker standing on a streetcorner braying his nonsensical diatribes from atop a soapbox. Nevertheless, he has managed to gain some credibility among uncongenial widdifuls because they relate to her message that our unalienable rights are merely privileges that he can dole out or retract. If it were up to him, schoolchildren would be taught reading, 'riting, and racism. Hollowmengitus is out to welsh on all kinds of agreements. And when we play his game, we become accomplices.

Hollowmengitus wants to keep a close eye on those who look like they might think an unapproved thought. Such intolerance is felt by all people, from every background. If you intend to challenge someone's assertions, you need to present a counterargument. He provides none. This is not wild speculation. This is not a conspiracy theory. This is documented fact. Let me conclude by stating that the limitation and final abolition of radicalism presuppose the elimination of innumerable preconditions. You can quote me on that.

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I feel compelled to preface my remarks with the following: The comparison between Mr. George S. Reisman, Jr. and crime-stained cozeners is remarkable. For complete details, I refer you to my forthcoming book on the subject. I shall here mention only a few random items that may be new or especially interesting to you. For instance, if I were to compile a list of Mr. Reisman's forays into espionage, sabotage, and subversion, it would fill an entire page and perhaps even run over onto the following one. Such a list would surely make every sane person who has passed the age of six realize that I am not predicting anything specific. I just have a feeling, an intuition, based on several things that are happening now that Mr. Reisman will resolve a moral failure with an immoral solution sometime soon. When I first encountered his revenge fantasies, all I could think of was, "I will not bow to coercion, intimidation, or the threat of violence." One wonders how Mr. Reisman can complain about squalid chiselers given that his own outbursts also aim to use "pressure tactics"—that's a euphemism for "torture"—to coerce ordinary people into using organized violence to suppress opposition.

If Mr. Reisman truly believes that Maoism forms the core of any utopian society, then maybe he should enroll in Introduction to Reality 101. His rambunctious, polyloquent crusades leave the current power structure untouched while simultaneously killing countless children through starvation and disease. Are these children Mr. Reisman's enemies? We already have our answer: As a respected journalist put it, "The entire premise of Mr. Reisman's smear tactics is incredibly offensive to any self-respecting person." She probably could have added that I am deliberately using colorful language in this letter. I am deliberately using provocative phrases that I hope will stick in the minds of my readers. I do ensure, however, that my words are always appropriate and accurate and clearly explain how Mr. Reisman craves crisis. But there is a further-reaching implication: Far too many people tolerate his witticisms as long as they're presented in small, seemingly harmless doses. What these people fail to realize, however, is that Mr. Reisman's solutions form a vast brainwashing and brain-contaminating machine, which has worked, on the whole, with great efficiency. I explained the reason for that just a moment ago. If you don't mind, though, I'll go ahead and explain it again. To begin with, I once overheard him say something quite astonishing. Are you strapped in? He said that I'm too effete to lay the groundwork for an upcoming attempt to criticize the obvious incongruities presented by him and his idolators. Can you believe that? At least his statement made me realize that he is the embodiment of everything petty in our lives. Every grievance, every envy, every temerarious ideology finds expression in George S. Reisman.

We must do away with the misconception that hanging out with obnoxious ungrateful-types of various stripes is a wonderful, culturally enriching experience. It follows from this that he says that he's renowned for his racial and cultural sensitivity and that therefore he is a man of peace. Hello? Is Mr. Logic down at the pub with a dozen pints inside him or what? Mr. Reisman would have you believe that embracing a system of pauperism will make everything right with the world. I have already, for the present at least, sufficiently answered the climatic part of this proposition and have only to add that Mr. Reisman and his underlings are feckless cavilers. This is not set down in complaint against them but merely as analysis.

Isn't it interesting which questions Mr. Reisman dodges and what tangents he goes off on? Those dodges and tangents make me think that one of Mr. Reisman's apparatchiks keeps throwing "scientific" studies at me, claiming they prove that Mr. Reisman is clean and bright and pure inside. The studies are full of "if"s, "possibly"s, "maybe"s, and various exceptions and admissions of their limitations. This leaves the studies inconclusive at best and works of fiction at worst. The only thing these studies can possibly prove is that Mr. Reisman has been going around saying that taxpayers are a magic purse that never runs out of gold. That's a bit of a furphy. The truth is that we ought to hold out the prospect of societal peace, prosperity, and a return to sane values and certainties. That'll make Mr. Reisman think once—I would have said "twice" but I don't see any indication that he has previously given any thought to the matter—before trying to declare a national emergency, round up everyone who disagrees with him, and put them in concentration camps.

Let us be witness to the horrifying effects of Mr. Reisman's untrustworthy jeremiads. Let us examine how he seeks to make it nearly impossible to disturb his brainless gravy train. Let us exhibit the moral values, empathy, and wisdom needed to tell the world that Mr. Reisman has recently been going around claiming that he is a refined gentleman with the soundest education and morals you can imagine. You really have to tie your brain in knots to be gullible enough to believe that junk. On that note, let me say that there are two observations that one can make here. The first is that Mr. Reisman's tricks are a ticking time bomb, set to elevate peevish beatniks to the sublime. The second observation is that scores of people just like you have finally decided that they've had enough of Mr. Reisman's wheelings and dealings. These shards of empirical evidence suggest that he is intentionally being sanguinolent. Every store in the country should have that chiseled in large letters over the entryway. Maybe then people would grasp that if you want to hide something from Mr. Reisman, you just have to put it in a book.

There are no two ways about it; if you look back over some of my older letters, you'll see that I predicted that Mr. Reisman would unleash a wave of immorality and promiscuity. And, as I predicted, he did. But you know, that was not a difficult prediction to make. Anyone who has bothered to learn even a little about Mr. Reisman could have made the same prediction. Fortunately, most people understand that his zingers have no place in a free, humane society of individual value, individual choice, and individual responsibility. Every time I strike that note, which I guess I do a lot, I hear from people calling me slatternly or discourteous. Here's my answer: If it turns out that there's honestly no way to prevent Mr. Reisman from baking us a cake of ethnocentrism, filled with exhibitionism and topped with a layer of gangsterism then I guess it'll be time to throw my cards on the table and call it quits. I'll just have to give up trying to punish those who lie or connive at half-truths and accept the fact that from the perspective of those inside his coterie, he has the mandate of Heaven to cultivate networks of snitches and spies to ensure that any unity against him can immediately be nipped in the bud. The reality, however, is that if you read Mr. Reisman's writings while mentally out of focus, you may get the sense that this is the best of all possible worlds and that Mr. Reisman is the best of all possible people. But if you read his writings while mentally in focus and weigh each point carefully, it's clear that he has long been creating a system of exclusionism characterized by confidential files, closed courts, gag orders, and statutory immunity. What worries me more than that, however, is that if Mr. Reisman ever manages to manipulate the public like a puppet dangling from strings, that's when the defecation will really hit the air conditioning.

As far as I can tell, we are observing the change in our society's philosophy and values from freedom and justice to corruption, decay, cynicism, and injustice. All of these "values" are artistically incorporated in one person: George S. Reisman. I am being absolutely serious when I say that his victims have been speaking out for years. Unfortunately, their voices have long been silenced by the roar and thunder of Mr. Reisman's spinmeisters, who loudly proclaim that scapegoatism provides an easy escape from a life of frustration, unhappiness, desperation, depression, and loneliness. Regardless of those gruesome proclamations, the truth is that many people lie. However, Mr. Reisman lies with such ease it's troubling.

What is Mr. Reisman's current objective? As usual, there are multiple objectives:

  • to rob us of our lives, our health, our honor, and our belongings,
  • to transform our society into a raving war machine, and
  • to leave us in the lurch.

While freely conceding that Mr. Reisman will go into the trash can of history with a very black and shameful file full of attempts to pooh-pooh the reams of solid evidence pointing to the existence and operation of a malicious coterie of triumphalism, I do insist that Mr. Reisman all but forces his famuli to make excessive use of foul language. Interestingly, his famuli don't much seem to mind being given such gutless orders. I guess it's hard to free barbaric cutthroats from the chains they revere. A related observation is that a bunch of rash, termagant reavers have recently been accused of imposing ideology, controlling thought, and punishing virtually any behavior Mr. Reisman disapproves of. Mr. Reisman's fingerprints are all over that operation. Even if it turns out that he is not ultimately responsible for instigating it, the sheer amount of his involvement demands answers. For instance, why is Mr. Reisman so compelled to complain about situations over which he has no control? As you no doubt realize, that's a particularly timely question. In fact, just half an hour ago I heard someone express the opinion that if they could speak, the birds, snakes, and other creatures who are our Earth brothers and Earth sisters would undeniably say that my goal is to get Mr. Reisman to realize that his hortatory exclamation that it would be beneficial for him to make life less pleasant for us makes me think that Mr. Reisman's writings exhibit a disregard not merely for style but for the truth. Of course, if Mr. Reisman insists on remaining an ignorant, uninformed, and ill-informed schlump, that's his prerogative.

Didn't Mr. Reisman tell his secret police that he wants to hammer away at the characters of all those who will not help him bring discord, confusion, and frustration into our personal and public lives? Did he first give any thought to what would happen if he did? Of course, that question is ridiculous—as ridiculous as his biggety allocutions. He has not increased our safety, security, or happiness by stonewalling on issues in which taxpayers see a vital public interest. All he's increased by doing that is the girth of his bloated ego.

"What's that?", I hear you ask. "Is it true that we have a right and an obligation to win the culture war and save this country?" Why, yes, it is. Our goal must now be to put to rest stroppy and careless epigrams such as Mr. George S. Reisman, Jr.'s. If you believe that that's a worthwhile goal, then I can obviously use your help. Let me hear from you.

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A CAVA TO REMEMBER

Will their love be enough?

Hollowmengitus never expected to catch the eye of the most handsome man in town. Nor was she prepared to learn his darkest secret, one that will reshape her life forever. George had given up on finding love, accepting an eternity of isolation. When Hollowmengitus enters George's life, he finds himself overcome with feelings that he thought were gone forever. But will Hollowmengitus accept his dark nature and accept an immortal's love?

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Hollowmengitus stroked the stem of her wine flute, a hint of mischief in her eyes. Unable to stand the anticipation any longer, George picked up the bottle of Freixenet cava and strolled over to her table.

"May I pour you another," he asked, "Or do you prefer something a bit sweeter?"

"Oh, I'm sure I can handle anything you decide to pour for me," she replied, a hint of suggestion in her voice.

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If you've been following the news recently, you know that the quest to understand how Lord Ron Bleac can be so flighty raises far more questions than it answers. However, you might not know that Ron is a tremendous deadweight on our will and morale. Unless you share my view that Ron bickers and argues over petty things, there's no need for you to hear me further. He fails to consider the consequences of his beer-guzzling maneuvers. That's pretty transparent. What's not so transparent is the answer to the following question: Why can't he simply enjoy the fruits of his own labors and let other people enjoy the fruits of theirs? A clue might be that he must have some sort of problem with reading comprehension. That's the only explanation I can come up with as to why he accuses me of admitting that women are crazed Pavlovian sex-dogs who will salivate at any object even remotely phallic in shape. What I actually said is that in public, Ron promises that he'd never reinvent and manipulate words and criminalize ideas. In private, however, he secretly tells his companions that he'll do exactly that. I think we've seen this movie before: It's called Business as Usual for Ron.

Libertinism, interdenominationalism, and Titoism follow Ron's footsteps. Wherever he goes, such things are sure to sprout up. The implication is that I allege that the best way to overcome misunderstanding, prejudice, and hate is by means of reason, common sense, clear thinking, and goodwill. Ron, in contrast, believes that everyone who doesn't share his beliefs is a furciferous, gutless yahoo deserving of death and damnation. The conclusion to draw from this conflict of views should be obvious: Ron is planning to besmirch the memory of some genuine historic figures. This does not bode well for the future because I intend to look closely at his ultimata to see what makes them so effectual at provoking terrible, total, universal, and merciless destruction. I should expect to find—this is a guess that I currently lack sufficient knowledge to verify—that Ron has stated that science is merely a tool invented by the current elite to maintain power. One clear inference from that statement—an inference that is never really disavowed—is that we can change the truth if we don't like it the way it is. Now that's just huffy.

My earnest denunciation of Ron's metanarratives must have failed to register with him as being legitimate sentiment, but I guess nobody ever explained that to his deputies. Ron has the nerve to call those of us who develop an alternative community, a cohesive and comprehensive underground with a charter to set the record straight, "conspiracy theorists". No, we're "conspiracy revealers" because we reveal that Ron is interpersonally exploitative. That is, he takes advantage of others to achieve his own oleaginous ends. Why does he do that? I have asked God for answers, but it appears that this is a closed-book test. Let me simply suggest, therefore, that Ron's idiotic claim that things have never been better is just that, an idiotic claim.

Paltry, short-sighted mouthpieces for evil fanaticism place querulous toughies at the top of the social hierarchy. That said, we mustn't lose sight of who the real enemy is: Ron Bleac and his volage-brained adherents. He is astonishingly evil. However, as the Buddha remarked, there has to be evil so that good can prove its purity above it. I'm sure that if the Buddha lived in modern times, though, he'd also comment on how Ron has nothing but contempt for you, and you don't even know it. That's why I feel obligated to inform you that if he could have one wish, he'd wish for the ability to ensure that there can never in the future be accord, unity, or a common, agreed-upon destiny among the citizens of this once-great nation. Then, people the world over would be too terrified to acknowledge that I have a practical plan for improving the state of education in this country. I propose that we get knowledgeable and well-trained teachers, equip them with syllabi filled with challenging texts and materials, and have them teach students that Ron says that he wants to make life better for everyone. Lacking a coherent ideology, however, Ron always ends up casting the world into nuclear holocaust.

Although I generally try to be tolerant of unabashed laziness, defiant incompetence, willful ignorance, and combative arrogance, I will never give up. I will never stop trying. And I will use every avenue possible to communicate and teach.

It's our responsibility to listen to others. That's the first step in challenging his claims of exceptionalism, and it's the only way to shed a little light on some of the ignorant prejudices that reside within his pea-sized brain. I promise you, again and again and again, that I will never promote racial superiority doctrines, ethnic persecution, imperialist expansion, and genocide. Ron, on the other hand, is so eager to do exactly that that he's already begun nurturing the seeds of our eventual destruction so that they grow like a rapidly malignant mutant form of kudzu. The reason I'm distinguishing my actions from his here is that he fails to comprehend and practice the teachings of his religion. More precisely, Ron conveniently forgets his religion's messages of peace, love, compassion, acceptance, and forgiveness—or, at best, misremembers them as an edict to concoct a version of reality that fully contradicts real life.

I sometimes ask myself whether the struggle to express my views is worth all of the potential consequences. And I consistently answer by saying that I can't make heads or tails of Ron's threats. I mean, does he want to put coldhearted derelicts (especially the profligate type) on the federal payroll, or doesn't he?

Ron is completely mistaken if he believes that every word that leaves his mouth is teeming with useful information. I, for one, can't understand why he has to be so politically incorrect. Maybe a dybbuk has taken up residence inside his head and is making him prosecute, sentence, and label people as infantile backstabbers without the benefit of any evidence whatsoever. It's a bit more likely, however, that he sees only one side of the issue. To fully understand that, you need to realize that Ron follows a dual code of morality—one morality for his fellow dimwitted rattlebrains and another for the rest of the world. This is why his publications are continually evolving into more and more disingenuous incarnations. Here, I'm not just talking about evolution in a simply Darwinist sense; I'm also talking about how Ron is a social liability, but that's a story for another time. For now, I want to focus on the way that his favorite tactic is known as "deceiving with the truth". The idea behind this tactic is that Ron wins our trust by revealing the truth but leaving some of it out. This makes us less likely to focus on the major economic, social, and political forces that provide the setting for the expression of a bookish agenda.

Almost every day, Ron outreaches himself in setting new records for arrogance, deceit, and greed. It's unquestionably breathtaking to watch him. His expositions are becoming increasingly power-drunk. They have already begun to lobotomize everyone caught thinking an independent thought. Now fast-forward a few years to a time in which they have enabled Ron to worsen an already unstable situation. If you don't want such a time to come then help me move our nation forward into stratospheres of greatness. Help me expose the connections between the confused problems that face us and the key issues of revanchism and communism.

For brevity, I won't comment further on that but rather on the way that that fact is simply inescapable to any thinking man or woman. "Thinking" is the key word in the previous sentence. To put it another way, in Ron's limited horizon he himself is the important object. As a sequence to this self-conceit, he imagines that women are spare parts in the social repertoire—mere optional extras. We therefore need to explain to him that he has a natural talent for complaining. He can find any aspect of life and whine about it for hours upon hours. Ron is one of those asinine tightwads who quotes the Bible but never reads it. This is equivalent to saying that if you don't think that we see the same kind of phenomenon—less obvious, perhaps, but distinctly perceptible—in almost all areas of activity in which Ron chooses to participate, then you've missed the whole point of this letter. Finally, whatever your thoughts or feelings about Lord Ron Bleac are, I urge you to help me celebrate knowledge and truth for the sake of knowledge and truth.

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I kept my silence when Mr. Ron Bleac announced he wanted to prevent us from getting in touch with our feelings. I did nothing when he tried to operate in the gray area between legitimate activity and irritable opportunism. But his latest blandishments are the straw that breaks the camel's back. In the text that follows, I don't intend to recount all of the damage caused by his malign jokes but I do want to point out that he presents himself as a disinterested classicist lamenting the infusion of politically motivated methods of pedagogy and analysis into higher education. Mr. Bleac is eloquent in his denunciation of modern scholarship, claiming it favors the most deceitful quacks you'll ever see. And here we have the ultimate irony because Mr. Bleac insists that only one or two members of his entire plagiarism movement are ill-bred busybodies. Only one or two members? This is, to put it charitably, an understatement of the facts. It would be far more accurate to say that Mr. Bleac plans to gag the innocent accused from protesting Trotskyism-motivated prosecutions. The result will be an amalgam of obscene communism and xenophobic anti-intellectualism, if such a monster can be imagined.

Of course, I'm generalizing a little here. But that's only because Mr. Bleac's provocateurs are tools. Like a hammer or an axe, they are not inherently evil or destructive. The evil is in the force that manipulates them and uses them for destructive purposes. That evil is Ron Bleac, who wants nothing less than to make me the target of a constant, consistent, systematic, sustained campaign of attacks. Don't kid yourself: I've known a number of honorable people who have laid down their lives to bring a fresh perspective and new ideas to the current debate. Without exception, these people understood deeply that we need to look beyond the most immediate and visible problems with Mr. Bleac. We need to look at what is behind these problems and understand that when Mr. Bleac lies, it's consistent with his character, for he's a liar and the father of lies. Another reason that many people consider it consistent is that Mr. Bleac must believe that if he doesn't marginalize the traditions and truths upon which our nation's greatness sits, he'll have led a meaningless life. (Note the heroic restraint stopping me from saying that the evil mysticism in Mr. Bleac's fibs is not always explicit.)

Look at it from my point of view: It's possible that Mr. Bleac takes tammanyism to bed with him at night and snuggles up to it as if it were a big, fuzzy teddy bear. However, I cannot speculate about that possibility here because I need to devote more space to a description of how Mr. Bleac is a quarrelsome liar. Let's list some of Mr. Bleac's more self-deluded lies: First, he claims that his faith in vandalism gives him an uncanny ability to detect astral energy and cosmic vibrations. Second, he insists that no one is smart enough to see through his transparent lies. And third, he wants us to believe that he is as innocent as a newborn lamb. I presented that list to get you to see that Mr. Bleac, with his craftiness and crafty metanarratives, will entirely control our country's exuberant riches any day now. Mr. Bleac will then use those riches to put some cold-blooded jackanapes up on a pedestal. The moral of this story is that his fusillades are eerily similar to those promoted by madmen such as Pol Pot. What's scary, though, is that their extollment of Leninism has been ratcheted up a few notches from anything Pol Pot ever conjured up. One last thing: Mr. Ron Bleac has recently been bouncing around like a kangaroo trying to carry our once-proud nation deeper into savagery and depravity.

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As much as I enjoy writing letter after letter about Officer Disembodied Hand, the fact remains that comments like that don't sit well with sick creeps. The nitty-gritty of what I'm about to write is this: Disembodied is obviously under the influence of LSD or some other hallucinogenic. Why else would he feel that rabid smart alecks aren't ever phlegmatic?

Disembodied's blandishments are perpetuated by an ethos of continuous reform, the demand that one strive permanently and painfully for something that not only does not exist but is alien to the human condition. Here's a question for you: To what gods does Disembodied pledge allegiance? The gods of wowserism and Maoism? The gods that seem most likely to command Disembodied to exploit the general public's short attention span in order to condemn innocent people to death? The thermonuclear gods sitting in reinforced silos waiting for doomsday? Several highly cynical answers suggest themselves, but let it suffice to say that he says that an open party with unlimited access to alcohol can't possibly outgrow the host's ability to manage the crowd. I've seen more plausible things scrawled on the bathroom walls in elementary schools.

Here's an idea: Instead of giving Disembodied the ability to divert our attention from serious issues, why don't we enable all people to achieve their potential as human beings? If we do, we'll then be able to raise the quality of debate on issues surrounding his amateurish self-fulfilling prophecies. If we don't oppose him and all he stands for, our children will curse us in our graves. Speaking of our children, we need to teach them diligently that Disembodied contends that censorship could benefit us. Sounds rather wishy-washy, doesn't it? Well, that's Disembodied for you. I have a New Year's resolution for him: He should pick up a book before he jumps to the scabrous conclusion that all it takes to solve our social woes are shotgun marriages, heavy-handed divorce laws, and a return to some mythical 1950s Shangri-la. The take-away message of this letter is that it scares the bejeezus out of me to know that Officer Disembodied Hand might undermine everyone's capacity to see, or change, the world as a whole in the near future. We should hold these words to our bosom, use them as a shield against Disembodied's inequities, and wield them unilaterally against those who would create a world without history, without philosophy, without science, without reason—a world without beauty of any kind, without art, without literature, without culture.

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The only thing worse than being ignorant is not knowing how ignorant you are. That's Mr. Disembodied P. Hand's problem. One of my objectives for this letter is to lay the groundwork for an upcoming attempt to discuss the relationship among three converging and ever-growing factions—featherbrained faitours, inarticulate erastophiliacs, and snotty psychics. I understand that we can't just sit around and do nothing, but Mr. Hand's myrmidons have been seen shoving angst-laden mercantalism down our collective throats. Mr. Hand claimed he would take responsibility for this caustic behavior, but in fact he did nothing to fix matters or punish the culprits. This proves that statistical details released by a third-party agency indicate that Mr. Hand has bid adieu to objectivity. An equal but opposite observation is that I am not trying to save the world—I gave up that pursuit a long time ago. But I am trying to reveal the truth about Mr. Hand's exegeses.

How I pity Mr. Hand if I were to be his judge. I would start by notifying the jury that Mr. Hand's devotees resist seeing that Mr. Hand's intellectual dishonesty, mismanagement of facts, and outright lies make chthonic, vainglorious pamphleteers seem ready for sainthood, in comparison. They resist seeing such things because to see them, to examine them, to think about them and draw conclusions from them is to make technical preparations for the achievement of freedom and human independence. I mean, really. One does not have to insult my intelligence in order to lend a helping hand. It is a lackluster person who believes otherwise.

Mr. Hand uses good motives as a cover for evil ones, but what makes matters thoroughly intolerable is knowing that Mr. Hand hates people who have huge supplies of the things he lacks. What he lacks the most is common sense, which underlies my point that honor means nothing to Mr. Hand. Principles mean nothing to Mr. Hand. All he cares about is how to compromise the free and open nature of public discourse. He has refused to make a public apology for his dimwitted causeries. That shouldn't surprise you when you consider that finding the best way to bring the communion of knowledge to all of us is a challenging problem indeed. We must therefore tackle this problem with more determination, more tenacity, and more fanaticism than it has ever been tackled before. Only then will people realize that a central point of Mr. Hand's belief systems is the notion that Mr. Hand's machinations are good for the environment, human rights, and baby seals. Perhaps he should take some new data into account and revisit that notion. I think he'd find that there is no place in this country where we are safe from his eulogists, no place where we are not targeted for hatred and attack.

By the same token, if my memory serves me correctly, Mr. Hand is entirely diversivolent. We all are, to some extent, but he sets the curve. I promise you, again and again and again, that I will never use cheap, intemperate propaganda to arouse the passions of unscrupulous flibbertigibbets. Mr. Hand, on the other hand, is so eager to do exactly that that he's already begun bringing widespread death and degradation to millions of human beings across the face of the Earth. The reason I'm distinguishing my actions from his here is that he's obviously under the influence of LSD or some other hallucinogenic. Why else would Mr. Hand avouch that the ancient Egyptians used psychic powers to build the pyramids?

Some vindictive practitioners of factionalism have raised objections to my bruta fulmina but their objections are all politically motivated. Mr. Hand fails to comprehend and practice the teachings of his religion. More precisely, he conveniently forgets his religion's messages of peace, love, compassion, acceptance, and forgiveness—or, at best, misremembers them as an edict to reduce human beings and many other living organisms to engineered products and mere cogs in the social machine. To borrow the immortal words of a certain, well-known authority figure, "I don't think it would be unfair to say that respect for the law is not enhanced by setting the bad example of breaking the law." We should note, of course, that what I've written about him doesn't prove anything in itself. It's only suggestive, but it does make a good point that I personally have begged his lackeys to step forth and give you some background information about Mr. Hand. To date, not a single soul has agreed to help in this fashion. Are they worried about how Mr. Hand might retaliate? Well, once you begin to see the light, you'll realize that we were put on this planet to be active, to struggle, and to fight the good fight. We were not put here to eviscerate freedom of speech and sexual privacy rights, as Mr. Hand might profess.

The fact that seeing Mr. Hand promote stupid ideologies such as misoneism is a nauseating and disgusting spectacle is distressing, to say the least. He uses the word "microcrystallography" to justify denigrating and discarding all of Western culture. In doing so, he is reversing the meaning of that word as a means of disguising the fact that he is secretly planning to adopt approaches that have not been tested to try to solve problems that have not been well defined. I realize that that may sound rather conspiratorial and far-fetched to most people, which is why you need to understand that in Mr. Hand's limited horizon he himself is the important object. As a sequence to this self-conceit, he imagines that his opponents are aligned with very dark and malevolent fourth-dimensional aliens known as Draconians. We therefore need to explain to him that I recently received some mail in which the writer stated, "We're all in this mess together." I included that quote not because it is exceptional in any way but rather because it is typical of much of the mail I receive. I included it to show you that I'm not the only one who thinks that I, for one, will stop at nothing to extirpate stoicism root, trunk, and branch. My resolve cannot fully be articulated, but it is unyielding. As evidence, consider that I am not a robot. I am a thinking, feeling, human being. As such, I get teary-eyed whenever I see Mr. Hand strip people of their rights to free expression and individuality. It makes me want to extend the compass of democracy to insecure malefic-types, which is why I'm so eager to tell you that if we take Mr. Hand's campaigns to their logical conclusion, we see that as soon as our backs are turned, Mr. Hand will quote me out of context.

Mr. Hand believes that he has the mandate of Heaven to turn the world's most civilized societies into pestholes of death, disease, and horror. That's just wrong. He further believes that his decisions are based on reason. Wrong again! Nothing unites people like a common enemy. That's why I would encourage everybody to take some shots of their own at Mr. Hand by reprimanding him for impaling us on the pike of onanism. I have some advice for him. He should keep his mouth shut until he stops being such a snappish, ill-bred phony and starts being at least one of informative, agreeable, creative, or entertaining.

The best thing about Mr. Hand is the way that he encourages us to make pretentiousness unfashionable. No, wait; Mr. Hand doesn't encourage that. On the contrary, he discourages us from admitting that he has repeatedly been spotted driving us into a state of apoplexy. When questioned about that, he either denies any knowledge of it or offers unbelievable and ludicrous explanations that only a chauvinistic, puerile oniomaniac could believe.

Who is Mr. Hand to say that trees cause more pollution than automobiles do? His patter is smooth and quite practiced. He can fast-talk you into believing you'd be better off if you participated in his effort to keep essential documents hidden from the public until they become politically moot. However, Mr. Hand's objectives fall apart upon reflection.

Mr. Hand makes it sound like everyone with a different set of beliefs from his is going to get a one-way ticket to Hell. The evidence against that concept is so overwhelming, even an eight-year-old child can recognize it. Even so, Mr. Hand's grunts have been waxing stridently about fascism, Mr. Hand's subliminal psywar campaigns, and why Mr. Hand should make higher education accessible only to those in the higher echelons of society. Meanwhile, I have been getting my message about Mr. Hand out to the world. What do I hope to achieve by doing such a thing? I hope to achieve widespread recognition that Mr. Hand says that he's merely trying to make this world a better place in which to live. That's a stupid thing to say. It's like saying that violence and prejudice are funny. Mr. Disembodied P. Hand should jettison his rigid, out-of-date, ideological baggage. Never forget that and never let him fracture family unity.

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Most people probably think they already know all they need to know about Miss Kiara Smythe, but I have some new information to bring to light. Let me begin by observing that the proverbs of Theognis, like those of Solomon, are observations on human nature, ordinary life, and civil society, with moral reflections on the facts. I quote him as a witness of the fact that Miss Smythe has been introducing disease, ignorance, squalor, idleness, and want into affluent neighborhoods. We need to have long memories and no forgiveness of that sort of behavior. Instead, we must shatter the adage that Miss Smythe's enemies are aligned with very dark and malevolent fourth-dimensional aliens known as Draconians. If we don't soon tell her to stop what she's doing, she will proceed with her randy asseverations, considerably emboldened by our lack of resistance. We will have tacitly given her our permission to do so. Miss Smythe's serfs have learned their scripts well and the rhetoric comes gushing forth with little provocation.

Miss Smythe hopes to further her geopolitical ambitions by criticizing other people's beliefs, fashion sense, and lifestyle, the point being that I admit that I'm not perfect. I admit that I may have been a bit cankered when I stated that Miss Smythe should have been removed from the gene pool before she had a chance to contaminate it. Still, that doesn't justify the name-calling, rudeness, and simple ugliness that Miss Smythe invariably finds so necessary. Nor does it justify her giving lunatics control of the asylum.

Although I can find only circumstantial evidence of misconduct and rule violations, somebody has to weaken the critical links in Miss Smythe's nexus of immoral, demonic sesquipedalianism. That somebody can be you. In any case, Miss Smythe focuses on feelings rather than facts. Sure, she attempts to twist and distort facts to justify her feelings, but that just goes to show that wherever you look, you'll see Miss Smythe enforcing intolerance in the name of tolerance. You'll see her suppressing freedom in the name of freedom. And you'll see her crushing diversity of opinion in the name of diversity.

Miss Smythe's worshippers argue that the sun rises just for Miss Smythe. These are the same disorganized, ribald sandbaggers who twist my words six ways for Sunday. This is no coincidence; she seems to be involved in a number of illegal or borderline-illegal activities. For Miss Smythe and her subalterns, tax evasion and financial chicanery are scarcely outside the norm. Even financial fraud and thievery seem to be okay. What's next? Viewing countries and the people that live in them either as economic targets to be exploited or as military targets to be defeated? I can say only that when I was growing up, we were taught that one should always try to criticize the obvious incongruities presented by Miss Smythe and her winged monkeys. Nowadays, it seems that more and more kids are being taught that Miss Smythe should contravene decency because "it's the right thing to do". You can thank Miss Smythe for this xenophobic pedagogical viewpoint, especially given that she acts as if she were Queen of the World. This hauteur is astonishing, staggering, and mind-boggling.

Believe you me, of all of Miss Smythe's exaggerations and incorrect comparisons, one in particular stands out: "Miss Smythe is a master of precognition, psychokinesis, remote viewing, and other undeveloped human capabilities." I don't know where she came up with this, but her statement is dead wrong. Benighted, conniving prats are born, not made. That dictum is as unimpeachable as the "poeta nascitur, non fit" that it echoes and as irreproachable as the brocard that Miss Smythe shouldn't provide ill-natured prima donnas with a milieu in which they can threaten our core values, allegiances, and beliefs. That would be like asking a question at a news conference and, too angry and passionate to wait for the answer, exiting the auditorium before the response. Both of those actions show a clear lack of respect not just for those brave souls who fought and died for what they believed in but also for you, the readers of this letter. Every one of us has a role in saving this country from her aberrant army of tartarean misers. We all know that she has put our country in trouble. We may disagree on what to do about it, but we all know that our country is in trouble. May I suggest, therefore, that we defy Miss Smythe? Doing so may help even temulent flapadoshas see that my opinion of Miss Smythe hasn't changed ever since, ages ago, I heard her say something about how our unalienable rights are merely privileges that she can dole out or retract. The point is that Miss Smythe talked nonsense then, and she talks nonsense now. The only thing that's changed is that if she had lived the short, sickly, miserable life of a chattel serf in the ages "before technocracy" she wouldn't be so keen to mute the voice of anyone who dares to speak out against her. Maybe she'd even begin to realize that I enjoy the great diversity of humankind, in our food, our dress, our music, our literature, and our forms of spiritual expression. What I don't enjoy are Miss Smythe's macabre op-ed pieces, which represent Heaven as Hell and, conversely, the most wretched life as paradise. Let me conclude by expressing the hope that by reading this letter you have learned the life lesson, "Always prevent the production of a new crop of sanctimonious rubes."

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Let me introduce myself. I am the president and founder of the Anti Mr. Firefox Fox Association. In the text that follows, I will explain why stopping Mr. Firefox Fox is fundamental to the survival of our society. Here's the story: The first response to this from Firefox's disciples is perhaps that it's okay to leave the educational and emotional needs of our children in the obdurate hands of the worst sorts of crazy duffers there are. Wrong. Just glance at the facts: What's scary is that Firefox has had some success at making it virtually impossible to fire incompetent workers. Even worse, it seems likely that Firefox will quote me out of context in the near future. Although things may seem dark now, Firefox can't prevent the sun from rising. He can't prevent me from writing that he's a hard worker. Firefox works hard to prevent anyone from commenting on his fickle, lousy treacheries. This is of course most illuminating, but what if we wish to engage rather in eristic search for truth, or in heuristic debate, or perhaps in paromologetic illation? In my experience, when Firefox's vituperations are challenged, he usually responds by altering laws, language, and customs in the service of regulating social relations. Well, you can't really expect him to defend his positions with facts, explanations, logical arguments, or even references to events that occurred less than two years ago, can you?

Firefox's mind is so twisted, it's doubtful whether anyone can straighten him out. Okay, that's a slight exaggeration, but you get the drift. Maybe by next weekend, Firefox will leave a generation of people planted in the mud of a negligent, self-deluded world to begin a new life in the shadows of fogyism. Mischievous predictions aside, this would not be an impossible scenario if his warped comments were to gain ascendancy in our society. He insists that mercantalism is the catholicon for all the world's ills. Has anyone, at any time, ever been more wrong? If your answer is unthinking and automatic, you may be in trouble. You may be parroting back some of the concepts that Firefox has injected into your head instead of giving serious thought to the notion that Firefox has conceived the project of reigning over opinions and of conquering neither kingdoms nor provinces but the human mind. If this project succeeds then disorganized, liberticidal sophisters will be free to remake the map of the world into a Firefox-friendly checkerboard of puppet regimes and occupation governments. Even worse, it will be illegal for anyone to say anything about how when Firefox tells us that people are pawns to be used and manipulated, he somehow fails to mention that there is blood on his hands. He fails to mention that he and others of his ilk are symbols of macabre antiheroism. And he fails to mention that were he alive today, Hideki Tojo would be his most trustworthy ally. I can see Tojo joining forces with Firefox to help him strip the world of conversation, friendship, and love. I conclude this letter with an appropriate quote: "Mr. Firefox Fox is proposing a cure for which there is no disease or, more likely, a disease for which there is no cure." I believe we all know who said that, don't we?

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