Gulliver Carpool

Ordo! Effective immediately, I'm retiring. I'll keep it short for the people who I've known and worked with: The tractor beam of adulthood is no bullshit. That fucker will suck you in, and you'll have to jump into trash compactor after trash compactor. If you're lucky, you get to swing across the great abyss with a wiseass princess in your arms. If you're luckier, she'll kiss you. But likely, she'll turn out to be your sister and bag your best bro. Chances are, you'll be thrashing around in the muck and mire. Do the right kind of thrashing and you'll avoid creatures from the deep and maybe get on drier trash. Congrats! And now, I address the young and ambitious--a message similar to my farewell to Antesignani--for those who probably didn't get or had forgotten my codgerly humor above. Use your time in Ordo wisely, and do not take it for granted. For what you have before you is a wonderful opportunity should you choose to take it. "But Gulliver, what is this opportunity? An opportunity for what?" you ask. Rightly so. It's the opportunity to learn that one can get as much or as little out of things in a commensurate amount one puts in. Should you choose to simply idle around and play with e-guns and such, you will have free access to some of the best on the grid. Should you want better ones you can write some reports and be a bit more visible and vocal and probably get some unlocks and get better ones. Maybe a jetpack or something. Should you want more, it's there for the taking. Aryte is a genius and somehow he's helped to create and maintain a sort of virtual proving ground for actual, real life meritocracy. Those who work hard, behave in reasonable and reliable fashion, work to improve themself in all the things they do, take initiative and try to contribute in the areas they can, and show loyalty to the group and one another then advance themselves. Surely, they gain presitige, but more importantly, they gain responsibility and with that the opportunity to gain more responsibility and more of the same opportunity. They become leaders for others. For those of you who are young, this is basically what real life does. It never ends, it never gets easier, and human life can be summarized as just one damned thing after another. The clever and diligent reader that made it this far probably caught onto that vicious circle. I suspect that's why Ordo is behind some groups in number, and some people just seem to float and leave with a chip on their shoulder. They simply don't take the opportunity to prove themselves. And more often than not, it's harder work than it is immediate gratification. So my elder advice to you is to take this opportunity, be thankful for it, and learn how to work hard in an organization. Learn how to report to your superiors and work with your teammates. You'll learn that they come to rely on your ability and input. Then you become their equal. Any talk of not being able to get promoted or getting locked out because of cliques or not being an old school Ordo member is horseshit. Not to be too autobiographical, but I beat that idea's ass in my time in Ordo. I didn't know shit about SL military, furries, scripting, building, and am notoriously useless in combat. You can beat it's ass too. And it's a pretty awesome feeling when you do. My only regret was that real life took over about the time I really could've been making some badass noise here. But you probably have youth on your side. So take the energy your youth provides, challenge yourself to improve. Work your ass off to make an Alpha Squad. Train hard to be solid in combat--even if you're solid turd. Volunteer for assignments, reports, training. Above all, when and if you feel slighted or passed over, take it standing up. Don't sulk but redouble your efforts. Have faith in yourself to outperform your peers honestly and the Ordo will reward you. In August, my company marked about 300 people in my city for lay off. I was one. Despite a year of hard work and being the best worker on my team, I was included simply because of the city I lived in (basically). It was a cockfight of feelings--betrayal, rejection, rebellion, and even understanding and agreeing with the decision from a simple dollars and cents point of view. It was very tempting to mail it in and be a punk about it. However, one of the things that sustained me was my time in Ordo learning the lesson above, seeing those who just wouldn't open themselves to that lesson drama quit, and those inbetween that caused me to redouble my efforts and basically slay my competition with complete and utter prejudice. I became human fucking napalm. And most days it sucked because I just burned and still was going to get laid off. But eventually, I fucking won that shit and not only got to keep my job, but got promoted to a better one entirely. Were this not enough, I got to keep my bonus for not quitting when they told me I was real life cannon fodder. Like Andy Dufresne, I crawled through a river of shit and came out clean on the other side. There will be an endless number of shit rivers in your life, take this opportunity, cherish it for how much it can provide you (ironically in the context of what amounts to a video game), and learn from it. Thanks to those I served with, especially Aryte, for collectively creating such a wonderful, weird (I saluted bunnies and foxes and shit?), and ultimately invaluable experience for each other. Yours, Gulliver P. Carpool Gulliver Carpool in no way endorses the politics of Tim Robbins or any of his relations.

Thanks. I'm old balls.

Day late and a dollar short. I'm going to turn my junk curtain into a lobster bib.

New word: Dump

New Word: Contrapposto

New Word: Moist

Night lights. Imagine that whatever it is that you think is scary in there, if it ever awakens, will simply do the Thriller dance. Nothing could be taken seriously after that.

Good night, sweet prince.

Aryte has no class.

I think Oprah should hand this one out.

1) Open bag of Fritos. 2) Warm chili. Do not make too hot. 3) Pour chili into bag of Fritos. 4) Eat. 5) Smirk that you have no dishes to do.

If given the option, I think the US should capture and deport Juggalos before any illegals.

Happy birthday.

Are you in Home Ec?

To expand on what Aryte wrote (asked?) because it is curious and it's always struck me as both an amazing occurance even though the reasons for the curiosity are very obvious to me: The reason why militaries in SL perist is because ordinary Western life is atomizing. Surely you've heard some talking head bloviate (not unlike I'm about to) about how with all the technological advances that could possibly bring us in closer contact with one another--email, cell phones, texting, internet--we're increasingly alienated from one another. We're lonely and we only get lonelier. (See: "Bowling Alone") Instead of sitting down for beers or coffee and talking about good books or politics or religion, you can blog. You can have your own blog, so you can say whatever the fuck it is you want, and no one can really challenge you. And if they do, it'll be a one-liner like "lol ur nutZ!!!". This lonliness increasingly puts us in an unnatural state where the needs of the human soul go unaccounted for. Itis why despite all the bluster of science and cynicism, people still build and attend churches. The statistics from more reputable firms will tell you that attendance at religious services is up. And that was before the Great Depression Part II. So, one outlet, as we sit alone, in front of our glowing screens, walking cartoon versions of ourselves around to YIFFYFURACTION, or pretend to be Boba Fett, or to pretend to be Boba Fett and YIFFYFURACTION, is to join a military, a group. Some people join for bling, sure, but most join for a variation of a reason that features the group as the main motivator in some form of another. If simply blowing shit up and shooting people were a persons' desire, then they'd play an FPS on some console. Those, I'm told, can even support team v team encounters. But what then? Assuming you could keep a coherent roster together, there's none of the building up of one's team or unit. Basically, there would *only* be the reward or benefit of the fun of shooting people in the face. An SL military requires selflessness and professionalism enough to endure. As Aryte pointed out, those that tend to lack this fritter away. Chaos seems to have persisted because unprofessionalism seems to be part of their MO. But, at least in Ordo, you'll see that the more lulzy seem to fall off eventually. All the better. To me, Ordo has shortcomings just like anything. Frankly, I can't really understand furries, think the idea is stupid, and the attendant drama that seems to come with it is just embarassing. There are others like me, but fewer than not. That said, it is the unspoken sense of community that keeps dissimilar members together working in Ordo. I'm not expressing myself very well, and to be honest, it's taken me nearly 4 hours to type this between spurts of RL work, so it's disjointed, but I'm too tired to care. Gulliver out.