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Tsume Xiao

In Memoriam

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If you wish to skip my intro feel free to jump to the TL;DR portion at your own discretion.

This post has been put on the Ordo Only section of the forums so thoughts that some may want kept within Ordo are kept as so.

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When I was younger the rabbi who conducted my grandmother's funeral passed to me this advice:

"The best way to soothe the pain of mourning is not to grieve for the one you have lost, but to recall all the good times and memories that you were fortunate enough to have shared with them."

It is with that advice that I start this thread in memory of our soldier, comrade, brother in arms, and above all, friend, Theodore.

He may no longer be with us physically, or in the case of SL, virtually, but nothing can stop him from being with us forever mentally in our minds or emotionally in our hearts.

It is in our memories that hsi presence can remain stronger than the report of any rifle he could have wielded in defense of his fellow Ordo, more important than any report he could he could have filed for Curia, and more vivid than any explosive he could have detonated through Insidae.

This is the premise under which I ask you all to com forward under. Leave your respects and memories here so we may all share and collectively recall the influence that Theodore had on our persons, our group, and our community as a whole.

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TL;DR

Leave below your memories of the departed friend Theodore Belgar so should our memory of him even hint that it may fade we can read and be reminded of the good times he brought to us.

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Allow me to share my memories first:

If there is one thing that people know about me it is that my Second Life reolves around Ordo and guns.

And to those of you wondering why there were two rifles laid out next to the memorial for Theodore, I give you the answer I would not have been able to give during the ceremony even if I was given time, for what others had said had truly had me on the brink of tears.

I met Theodore back in early 2009. Not met as in "yeah we fight that guy in MBC" met as in first came to know.

It was April and May of that year that I met with some of the leads of MBC and was asked about scripting two rifles for their group. Those rifles were the ones at the memorial: and AK47 and a PP-19 Bizon.

"So what. You script lots of rifles. What is the big deal"

The rifles matter little in comparison to what they caused. For several weeks I worked with the 7 guys from MBC on those rifles. We became more than just scripter and client, but were all began to become friends as well. This held true during combat, and during just general down time. As time passed militaries changed, only a few of the men I had met stayed in touch with me, and none as much Theodore did. This is why I was so excited to see him with the the Ordo Imperialis tag above his head when he IM'd me and told me he joined. Now we could be friends AND fight on the same side.

It was these two rifles that also allowed me to reach out to the 6 others when I heard the sad news yesterday. I remembered a few of them who I had kept in touch with, but some of the others I could not remember names.I pulled the rifles from y inventory and opened the ones that I had made for the 7 men to use if MBC should ever disband and I grabbed the UUID's of them. I contacted those I could, using UUID for those whose names I could not remember. I was able to get a hold of one online, who had already heard the news for Theo's brother, and he spread the word of the ceremony through a group that is essentially a group for old friends from MBC to stay in touch.

As the Ceremony approached, I dug out a New Jessie flag from March 2009 and harvested the MBC Flag UUID, and placed the rifles (with permission) at the memorial.

And then I stopped, stared and thought back. Back to when I scripted them, back to when I met the guys at MBC, met Theo, when I gave one of my long winded talks about why all the garbage on the rifles should be left off for military use, and back to the combat we all enjoyed together. These rifles. They are nothing more than prims (and not even very good ones), nothing more than verticies, polygons, triangles. They are insignificant.

And yet I stop and think.

It is funny at times how something a diminutive as scripting a rifle can impact your life so impressively by bringing you a new friend.

May you rest in peace Theodore.

Your memory will not be forgotten by this young man, for you allowed his hobby to bring to him a new friend.

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And because laughter is a wonderful healer of pain, I have pulled this quote from my massive logs I keep of SL quotes that make me laugh:

Just as an Ordo raid team came into the MBC desert-city sim build.

[19:06] Theodore Belgar: i hate you

[19:06] Ruin Nefarious: :(

[19:06] Theodore Belgar: lol

[19:06] Theodore Belgar: i was about to get me some virtual ass and you had to show up lol

[19:06] Ruin Nefarious: ROFL..

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To Krow, Insidae, Arokh, Aryte, the Guard, and all the others who helped make the ceremony as touching as it was I was asked to share this:

[17:11] Elazar Rajal: (Saved Sun Mar 27 18:41:31 2011) Make sure that the command staff knows the deep appreciation from all of the old MBC gang. This really ment a lot. Well done.

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Edited by Tsume Xiao
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First time I ever spoke to him

[2010/07/30 12:19] Theodore Belgar: Hey Zrazor..I've been talking to a couple of Insidae members and I'd like to inquire about throwing my proverbial hat in the ring.

[2010/07/30 12:20] Zrazor Rozenstrauch: So you wanna join my squad, eh?

[2010/07/30 12:20] Theodore Belgar: aaayep

[2010/07/30 12:20] Zrazor Rozenstrauch: Y'ever wrassle an alligator?

[2010/07/30 12:20] Zrazor Rozenstrauch: >:3

[2010/07/30 12:20] Theodore Belgar: Once...wait

[2010/07/30 12:20] Theodore Belgar: Are you talking about my xwife?

[2010/07/30 12:20] Zrazor Rozenstrauch: Oh snap XD

[2010/07/30 12:21] Theodore Belgar: hooah

[2010/07/30 12:21] Zrazor Rozenstrauch: I like you already. What rank are you?

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I first meet him when I was a cadet, 2nd day on sim. He noted that I was off on my own to the side. I explained to him about how it seemed to talk to me so I could learn more about Ordo. He then asked me about my RL military experience. I told him about how the highest I made was E-3 in the USN, and how I took NCO classes for E-4 before I was told to leave (personal matter). He sat down with me for over a hour just talking about how it might be applied to Ordo when I became a NCO here, as well as general life here.

It was a very good and memorable talk, which impressed me. No one ever showed a interest in how I felt before, and how I never really like feeling like a outsider. When the classes started I learned a lot more of Ordo, and saw what he was talking about.

My own personal philosophy of treating those around me as family is the same here. People weren't being quiet around me, they where just unsure about me. Which is understandable. In his own way he helped me at a time in Ordo when I had my doubts bout being in Ordo. I'll admit there are times when I still feel that way, but I just look back and remember what he told me as best I can. It always reaffirms my belief in Ordo. So I stay.

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