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Jester Spearmann

The Power and Abilities of a Marine Officer

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Ordo Imperialis

Lift water to walk buildings under it

Stronger than a class one quantum singularity. And oh so cute. <3

walk on speeding bullets (it's been done in bad lag, I'm sure).

Collective e-penis size is larger than the entire land mass of Russia.

Create Gods.

Ordo, arranged by probability of killing you.

Cadets -75% chance of killing you.

Terra enlisted - Are killing you.

Terra NCOs - Are killing you while riding bicycles. They're experts.

Terra Officers - Are killing you. With eyes closed.

Astra enlisted - 99% chance of killing you while doing a trippl spinning back flip with a pirouette finish in a praeda.

Asta NCOs - See above, but with more spirit Will even garner a 10 from France.

Astra Officers - See above, but with more spirit and then do it backwards.

Curia will kill you.

Munitorum make things that will kill you. And they can kill you, too.

Frumentarii - You're already dead. You just haven't stopped movin'

Praetorian Guard - Enemies lie down and die before they arrive. ;_;

Imperator - He has folded space and time to kill you multiple times through the ages. He also killed your pet gold fish, Tim the Fish, when you were 6, scarring you for life.

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