Mark's Boring, Longwinded Obligatory Ordo Post

[Mark Karlfeldt]

Ordo Imperalis,

Usually I'm not one who takes things seriously. I think by now, most of you who know me have already grasped this fact. But even I believe that were are times where seriousness is warranted.

I've been on familiar terms with the Ordo Imperalis for roughly three years now. At first, I was just a civilian who wanted to hang around with his friends. Later, I started to pick up odd-jobs within the Ordo, including animation and texture tasks. Eventually I joined Munitorum, and even started to go on raids and defend Titan, despite still being a "civilian". I was a regular sight in Titan, and on good terms with just about everyone, but it wasn't until much later that I actually decided to join. I never bothered to make note of when I joined, I think it's been roughly eight months now, but I feel like I've been a member for far longer. Hell, I've been around longer than some of the current Praetorians (and I make sure that they know that).

So why all my hesitation to join? For a long time I could have even been considered a member anyway. In retrospect, the cause of my reluctance to actually join was essentially, fear. I hope to reflect upon that in this post, and perhaps deliver some psychological knowledge along the way.

So yes, you could consider this my mandatory "srs bsns" post in which I reflect on all my experiences and shit, and try to bring it all around to some greater meaning or metaphor. Instead of this though, expect a whole bunch of aimless rambling and asshattery. You have been forewarned.

I originally happened upon the Ordo Imperalis towards the end of my stint with a (now almost defunct) company in Second Life, named Black Operations. I worked as lead animator within the company since its beginning, producing primarily guns and such. Sera Otoro actually worked with us for a brief spell, producing some of her first models for us. Over time, we expanded, eventually even buying our own sims and branching out into other areas. Over time, people who are now among my best friends joined up, including Teron Gray (who I quickly fell in love with), WolfShaman Warrior, Blaze Wiles and Maverick Garfield (all of whom shall now be henceforth known as "The Gang").

While it was good at the time, eventually it started falling apart. The level of quality dropped like a stone, and certain unsavoury characters joined up, including one Subtlesara Oh, who eventually drove myself and my friends to leave from the sheer abuse she hurled our way, and got away with.

Before we left though, I noticed The Gang had drifted off somewhat and joined the Ordo Imperalis. I already had some knowledge of the group from another friend, Keystone Grey, who had been a member for some time. However, at the time I had little knowledge and fondness for the SL military scene, dismissing it as groups of bored, immature basement dwellers who acted hardcore. But nonetheless, I wanted to be where my friends were, so eventually I applied to be a civilian.

Soon after I became a civilian I was summarily ejected for hitting Philip Hulctantz over the head with a baseball bat after he tried to facefuck me. Good times.

Anyway, after some bullshitting around, I came back. Philip was now kicked out, so I became a citizen again and started hanging around. It was about this time that I left Black Operations, and The Gang followed shortly after. However, I found that this resulted in interest within Ordo about my skills. Ethan Schuman got me to animate the Five-seveN pistols, I helped Keystone and Wolfshaman with various odd-jobs, and after a bit of a rocky start, I was eventually a common sight on Titan. My familiarity with everyone helped me get away with some of the darnest stuff, including even organizing skirmishes with Ordo while I was a civilian, something which made many officers shit bricks at the time, but gradually became a common occurance.

Even though I was so well intergrated with Ordo, and I got asked to join on a daily basis, I still refused to even consider the concept. I saw the inner workings as a red-tape machine, where people play powergames and bearucratics over the most trivial of things. I firmly stood by my descision to remain a third party, despite my inevitable further delving into the group. When I finally gave in and joined, the transition seemed nonexistent, with the only real difference being that I had to wear a uniform. Granted, I still miss being able to attack on a whim, and I miss the things I used to be able to get away with, like attacking invaders with what has become my trademarked lead pipe, and even now I try my best to stay away from the inner workings on the group, choosing mostly to only participate in combat and such.

Anyway, my reluctance. There were many reasons why I chose to remain out of Ordo itself, as stated before, one of them was my view that it was all politics and srs bsns, but another reason was my inability to understand why so many people would be so eager to spend time working for something in which they see no physical profit or reward. I saw many people donating their time skills for free, time and skills which could be applied to a real-world career. I never understood why people would be willing to fill out endless amounts of paperwork and forms and essays, stuff which I considered (and still do consider) to be an extremely dull task that one is usually paid to do.

It never really occured to me that the same mentality that applied to open-source programmers, game modders, etc. applied also to members of Ordo.

People, as an instinct, want to be part of things. They want to have a place in what they percieve as something bigger, to feel like they are useful and contributing something. And above all, the desire for pride in one's own worth overrides the desire for profit.

Perhaps this video will explain more than I can.

[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u6XAPnuFjJc

(10 minutes long, so dig in for this one)

In other words, people are naturally socialist. Take that, Teron.

In retrospect though, I found that my time and effort for the Ordo didn't go entirely unrewarded. Being in Ordo has given me things which are far more valuable than money. I'm talking about life lessons and experiences, things which I can recall on later in life to help advance me. Ordo has changed me on a fundamental level as a human being, a change which I would believe is for the better. The things I've been through have honed my mind, the people I've met have influenced my personality and behaviour, and I'm pretty sure that the same can be said by everyone in Ordo.

At this point, I want to remind you about something. Yes, you, who's reading this right now.

Never, ever, underestimate the influence you have over others. Everything you do and say, can and will affect others in a profound way, even if not in a way immediately evident. People will fall into depression and despair, or soar to the heights of elation, by the threads of your words and character. Your interaction with others will make them change, for better or worse. You hold a very powerful ability, perhaps the most powerful of all - the ability to change, even manipulate other people, intentionally or not. Even on the internet, your words hold power and sway. So for the love of God, use your superpowers for good, and not evil.

Beyond doubt, people within the Ordo have changed me thoroughly. I've grown a deep fondness for many of you, one that transcends boundaries of the physical world. I've never met any of you face to face, but I would proudly call many of you close friends, and a few, even brothers beyond blood. The things you've said and done have changed me and made me who I am today, and will likely continue affecting me into the future until my demise via attempted rocket jump (yes, this is my life's end plan). And I know beyond doubt that the things I've said and done have changed many of you as well (speaking of, I also realise in retrospect that I have been a massive bag of cocks in the past (and sometimes still am), so I apologize to all those who had to endure it). I know it's considered somewhat taboo to name names and all, but fuckit, I usually go against the grain anyway.

In no real particular order...

Teron Gray: You taught me what it means to love, and sometimes, love isn't all that it's cracked up to be. You've been my partner for a long time, the one who always held my shoulder through both absolute shit and absolute joy, who beared with me and tolerated me, taking everything I did in good humour. I have loved you, and still do, but sometimes reality delivers a harsh reminder that distance and difference can indeed get in the way. Thank you, you capitalist, ultraconservative, disgustingly-cute try-hard, serious-business fascist.

Blaze Wiles: A close friend from the start. You taught me that sometimes, words are not needed to comfort others, so much as simply being there for them. And honestly, thank God that this is a valid lesson, because your English really sucks. <3

Wolfshaman Warrior: I have trouble believing the amount of stuff which this grizzled war-vet lets slide. Like a rock in the ocean he takes everything in his stride with good humour, and rarely will you hear a grunt of complaint from him. You've taught me that often it's better to let things go than to let them get to me, and really, this has been one of the most important things I've ever learned.

Maverick Garfield: I'm sure you taught me /something/. Perhaps you taught me that rednecks are funny. I think.

Ron Bleac: Our constant back-and-forth shit-slinging matches only serve to increase my respect and fondness for you. From a distance, we could be total opposites, with your fancy education and gentlemanly ways and my uncultured, uncouth behaivour, but once you get into the meat of it, we're not so different after all. Ron is a man I would gladly brofist until my entire arm is shattered.

Aryte Vesperia: I know I use Australia as an excuse for a lot of things, but one thing ingrained in Australian culture is equality. I never put others above or below myself, even those I dislike or even hate. After all, we're all human. So while many seem quick to put Aryte on a pedestal, once you see things from the level of the human being, he starts making a lot of sense. Aryte is a man who oozes simple dedication, and its this which has carried Ordo for so long, and something which I have tried my best to learn. He's also posh bastard. <3

Keller Teichmann: Suprised to be on this list? There's a good reason. My interaction with you has been limited, but it's clear as day that you're a bright spark, you learn fast and you work hard, and I can see that you do a lot despite all my constant harrassment. I'm proud to have been able to take you under my wing and teach you what I know, as you've picked it up quickly and the improvements have been obvious. Good fucking show. <3

Steeltael Lykin: I haven't really known you that long, but we've been good brothers nonetheless. If anything, you reinforced my knowledge of how much my actions can affect others, and how easy it is to accidentally be the catalyst of something much bigger. You're fun, talkative, even teasing at times, and serious at others. Love and communism to you, shorty.

Tsume Xiao: The man who taught me the value of concentration and hard work, two things which I haven't been doing near enough of lately. Our relationship has been almost entirely business, but still, I am fond of you, and hopefully the feeling is mutual. <3

Xayvien Rau: For the amount of time that we've known eachother, we've suprisingly had relatively little conversation. Despite this, though, I still consider you a close friend, as you've made my best friend a happy man, and for that, there is not enough thanks in the world.

And then the others for which I can't think of anything to write.

Zerowinged Vasiliev

Ratrix Hax

Arokh Takakura

Awanken Wasp

ShadowFang Blessed

Ciel Eilde

Corsi Mousehold

Maza Rau

Eriksson Foxtrot

Ethan Schuman

Karlhockey Forte

Kytec Switchblade

Marc Gravois

Sera Otoro

Trinity Heckroth

Williamca Zenovka

Zrazor Rosenstrauch

I wish that transport to and from my country didn't cost an arm and a leg, else I would make a round trip tour just to visit all of you and deliver a hug to your doorstep. Hopefully I'll get the chance to do so for at least some of you at Anthrocon 2011. You're all awesome people, every one of you, unique and special in your own ways. You all make me smile, even when you're hurling shit my way in jest, or poking fun at me. I hope that I can, or already do, the same for you.

Anyway, that's really all that I have to say. This will pretty much be the only time you'll ever see me not being an idiot. Post all the "I love you too"'s that you want, or ask me anything you want, or whicheverwhat. In all likelihood, I'll wake up tomorrow and regret making this post. So take advantage while you can.

[Theodore Belgar]

(Softly Applauds)

[Jayce Iredell]

tl;dr

[Mark Karlfeldt]

tl;dr

[Inoue Katsu]

At this point, I want to remind you about something. Yes, you, who's reading this right now.

WTF how did you know I was reading D: HAX!

But yea, nice read ;)

[Steeltael Lykin]

<3

[Tsume Xiao]

Mark, I wish my speech/rant on four years of service could have been as organized as this.

I do consider you as more than just someone known through business, despite periods of time when my first words to you in IM's would be regarding status of projects. >.>

Thanks for the kind words.

[Maverick Garfield]

:D

[Firefox Breed]

i get no love Q.Q

[Aryte]

At this point, I want to remind you about something. Yes, you, who's reading this right now.

Never, ever, underestimate the influence you have over others. Everything you do and say, can and will affect others in a profound way, even if not in a way immediately evident. People will fall into depression and despair, or soar to the heights of elation, by the threads of your words and character. Your interaction with others will make them change, for better or worse. You hold a very powerful ability, perhaps the most powerful of all - the ability to change, even manipulate other people, intentionally or not. Even on the internet, your words hold power and sway. So for the love of God, use your superpowers for good, and not evil.

^ This x1000.

Also wow, this is way too sweet to be Mark. What did you do with him?

(Thank you.)

Also I copied this post, so even if you delete it, I'll always have an MSWord file named "Mark has a heart."

[Zerowinged Vasiliev]

.STALKER HERE OUT OF GET

[Drasamax Python]

I live only a few hours away from the Anthrocon place because I live in PA :P

[Arokh Takakura]

Is it bad I tried to highlight the area next to my name to look for "Is a fatty" in the same colour as the forum backdrop? :D Paranoia kicking in. <3

[Trinity Heckroth]

BT-2 brudda for lyfe represent.

[Eriksson Foxtrot]

Very nice read, Mark. A very pleasant individual you are to hang around; probably the only one, who, through humor can brighten anybody's day. I enjoy having you in the 'cool kids' Squad, bugging me each week for a PRF... even sometimes harshly, I know its out of humor. Here's to a bright, and passionate friendship from the days past, to the endless amount of days beyond.

Brofists.

<3

[Mark Karlfeldt]

i get no love Q.Q

Says the man who starts having panic attacks when he hasn't had any tail for a week.

.STALKER HERE OUT OF GET

In soviet russia.

Is it bad I tried to highlight the area next to my name to look for "Is a fatty" in the same colour as the forum backdrop? :D Paranoia kicking in. <3

Some things go without saying.

fatty

[BlackSergal]

When I got to work today I had to sit inside a "Sterile" room where you can't bring any electronic device. No IPods, hell even some watches, zip, nada, nothing.

Luckily I had "The Longest Day" by C. Ryan to keep me occupied and during this time I hit upon something that was gnawing at me the past few days.

It was the argument that I so utterly loath that you see time and time again:

"LoL! It's just a game! LOL"

I had a carefully formulated article in my head where I explain that Checkers is a game, Backgammon is a game. Ordo is most defiantly not "Just a game."

Then I get home and see you beat me to the damn punch with an eloquently written story!

BAKA! GET OUT OF MY MIND!!

(Seriously though, great write up)

[Mark Karlfeldt]

When I got to work today I had to sit inside a "Sterile" room where you can't bring any electronic device. No IPods, hell even some watches, zip, nada, nothing.

Luckily I had "The Longest Day" by C. Ryan to keep me occupied and during this time I hit upon something that was gnawing at me the past few days.

It was the argument that I so utterly loath that you see time and time again:

"LoL! It's just a game! LOL"

I had a carefully formulated article in my head where I explain that Checkers is a game, Backgammon is a game. Ordo is most defiantly not "Just a game."

Then I get home and see you beat me to the damn punch with an eloquently written story!

BAKA! GET OUT OF MY MIND!!

(Seriously though, great write up)

But it is just a game.

[Zerowinged Vasiliev]

Also, who is this longwinged fellow? Stealin my name.

[Arc Vyper]

tl;dr

[Ciel Eilde]

Mark, you're a loveable goober.

<3

You're awesome. :3

[Ethan Schuman]

Regardless of how things started off between us, I'm glad they've gotten to where they are. Mark, you're a gifted individual, in many senses. I'd tell you not to squander your blessings, and to use them well, but it appears you are already well out of the danger of that happening.

[Marc Gravois]

perhaps we shall make a bridge someday, or perhaps you can train kangaroos to paddle and move your island up next to hawaii