Scarecrows

[Jester Spearmann]

For you DnD fans. Here is a question I pose to you

As you approach the lair of an old hag said to know the whereabouts of an ancient relic you spot several scarecrows lining the path to her abode. As you pass between the lines of scarecrows several

of them clamber down from their perches and begin to advance on you! What do you do?

(And don't just start lobbing fireballs left and right, think your answer over first.

There is no right or wrong answer, but when you answer give a reason why you chose said answer)

[George Reisman]

I think lobbing fireballs would be a very reasonable choice.

[Tsukiyomi Yuhara]

Smack a old hag with my +10 Cane of Pimpin' and ask a hoe 'where ma money?' She better put it in my hand right now before I pull out a 9 and bust a magical cap in some magical ass with some flame shot.

[Jester Spearmann]

Smack a old hag with my +10 Can of Pimpin' and ask a hoe 'where ma money?' She better put it in my hand right now before I pull out a 9 and bust a magical cap in some magical ass with some flame shot.

>:|

[RazorFox]

I put on my robe and wizard hat.

[RazorFox]

In all seriousness, there are a lot of factors to consider here.

First and foremost, you should take meta-factors into account (i.e. "real life" things that would factor into what to do)

-How big of a douche is your DM?

This is incredibly important because it will determine the likelihood that Tim "the Timinator" McShithead has, in his infinite smugness, put some kind of stupid enchantment on the scarecrows that makes them immune to all damage unless you say a secret word that nobody would ever guess or something.

-What time does Jeff's mom want you guys out of the basement?

This is important because if it's 7:30 and you have to leave at 8, you might not have time to go into a verbose description of your character's entire life history and explain why he has a deep uncontrollable hatred of scarecrows because his father was raped by one before his eyes when he was a child a week or two ago and that's why he is currently going super saiyan and destroying all the scarecrows regardless of whatever stupid shit is coming out of Tim's stupid pizza crust mouth because he is a fucking idiot and Jeff's mom can suck my dick.

-How much Mountain Dew do you guys have left?

I'm thirsty.

Then there is of course, consideration given as to who is in your party:

-Does your party have a wizard in it?

-Is he wearing his robe and wizard hat?

And of course, other pertinent information:

-What does your Pokedex say about the scarecrows?

This would deliver all kinds of valuable information, such as their level, type(s), evolutions, and a small paragraph talking about scarecrows and what they do in their natural habitat.

-What do the scarecrows look like?

A clever player may possibly be able to taunt the scarecrows into going away by poking fun at their attire, calling them poor-looking if they are dressed raggedly, calling them fags if they are dressed stylishly, or by simply pointing and laughing if they are dressed like members of KISS because at that point it should be pretty obvious they were asking for it. Whatever were they thinking?

-Is your party close enough to the door to get to the hag's cottage?

If the scarecrows are "shambling," maybe you can outrun them, bust up into that bitch's house and be all like "What the fuck scarecrows?"

So as you can see, Jester, you haven't given us enough information to make a good call.

[Tsukiyomi Yuhara]

Legitimate, no bullshit response

[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YyxnEKTjhj0

[Lanny Ansar]

1: Try to talk to Scarecrows.

2: If Scarecrows don't talk / don't speak common, use Arcana Check to see what's making them move.

3: If Arcana check fails, use Streetwise check / Wisdom check to see what they're made of.

4: If these fail, then fuck this shit, i'ma level 30 Dwarf Warpriest Demigod with a +5 Holy Avenger Warhammer, +4 Barkskin Armor and a Dragondaunt Shield.

(Yes, I used to play D&D. Roll Initiative, fool. :P )

[fatalitywolf firehawk]

i use the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch

first i must Consult the Book of Armaments, Armaments chapter two, verses nine through twenty-one.

[reading] And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, "O Lord, bless this thy hand grenade, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy." And the Lord did grin. And the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths, and carp and anchovies, and orangutans and breakfast cereals, and fruit-bats and large chu...[ i skip a bit and continue reading]

And the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.

i pull the pin then count to three then throw the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch at the Scarecrows

Edited April 21, 2011 by fatalitywolf firehawk

[Jester Spearmann]

Lanny, Your answer was possibly the only one that actually made any sense

Zrazor, F you and your robes :p

as for the lack of 'stuff to go on' I blame NwN

[fatalitywolf firehawk]

jester my answer made plenty of sence if it can kill a bunny rabbit of doom it can kill a bunch of scarecrows

[Jester Spearmann]

jester my answer made plenty of sence if it can kill a bunny rabbit of doom it can kill a bunch of scarecrows

Monty Python is not DnD ;p

[Agares Tretiak]

I don't play DnD. I play Dark Heresy, bitches.

This about the point my team goes "FOUL CHAOS APPROACHES" and start fucking shit up with lazers (lasers with a 'z' are cooler) and preparing to call in the Exterimantus request to their Inquistor who waits in the mighty fleet that lurks above the corrupted world.

No mother fucking scarecrow is going to survive an orbital bombardment when the shells are nearly 200 meters in diameter.

Fuckin' scarecrows. HA.

[Tsukiyomi Yuhara]

My answer was legit as well, you obviously have never been in a game with a +10 cane of pimping. A simple wave of this magical item and all the scarecrows would like up to <This part is censored as you must infact be Agares size or taller to read the horrible things that will be done> with the old hag. Now I know, some of you are thinking "A DM would never allow this!? What kind of game of D&D do you play?!" I'd answer these if I wasn't busy razing villiages, slaughtering innocents, infact I am probobly there to burn down the field her scarecrows came from. inwhich case.

Set them on fire, then listen to the man with the pimp cane.

[Tsume Xiao]

I'd call David Tennant.

He'd take care of them like he did in Season 3 during "Human Nature" and "Family of Blood".

[CrescentSnow]

LOL Tsume. I remember that episode.

[Jester Spearmann]

This has just gone waaay left field. (Somewhat surprised nobody mentioned The Batman)