"If I wanted my come back, I'd have wiped it off your lips." "At every point of your rant, just now, you have erected a fine foundation, if your objective was building a monument to idiocy." "Generally, when it comes to wits, I deign from attacking an unarmed opponent. However, today I am making a special exception just for you. En guarde." "Sorry. I was thinking about how nicely your head would fit on a pike, at a crossroads. But please, do not allow me to prevent you from possibly making this a reality." "If I could call your last comment a coherent response, every teacher of rhetoric to ever have lived would not only spin in their graves, but bore a hole through the surface of the earth." "Son, what is your major malfunction?" "...and thus you prove once again, that you'd pull your head out of your ass, if only you didn't' find it so warm and comfortable there." I have more.