Ron Bleac
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Posts posted by Ron Bleac
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Or! "Caught in the crossfire" 48 hour adventure!
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I lost the funny pictures thread.
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Accuracy doesn't matter when you have the quantity of ammunition. Considering ships have shields, it's much more practical to knock it down with overwhelming fire from weak weapons rather than to waste more expensive, harder to find and harder to produce munitions on it. After they are down, it's much more practical to just hose it down too! I imagine smaller ships would be fitted with more lethal weaponry than the largest of battleships (size wise) as with larger vessels, quantity of smaller weapons would count for most offensive firepower. A single, small gun turret might not be effective against a battleship, but imagine a thousand firing at once. Why put a dozen high class turrets on a battleship that will likely have significant trouble resupplying rare munitions, when it can just send a shuttle or twelve to fetch more available standard ammo?
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How about
Guns.
In space.
None of you guys seem to appreciate standard ammunition. Like, shells and shit. Solid shot. That shit Ffffs up space shits.
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For whatever reason, I am not having any issues with the game itself. The only complaints I have is the lack of a mute button and push to talk in Multiplayer. Weapons do wear down quickly, which makes me want to scream because a stainless steel pipe shouldn't bend when I crack skulls with it.
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His speech was straight from the Rocky movie series.
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Does your friend expect to find firearms on a holiday resort island in Papua New-Guinea, Eriksson?
This game is fun. Played it for a while now, finally found a single action revolver but shit still doesn't get any easier.
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I WANNA BE A SPACE MAREEEN
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Yup. Cars exist. ;D
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Woah, I'll come if I'm in the US at the time. Or hope so, at least. Would be pretty baller to meet more Ordo.
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Chapter 2 of the amazing adventures of Jason Backer:
And then he was a homo and joined back up with his fleetie friends.
jk/jk Jason you're still cool.
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Interesting stuff. Some of these tactics and parcels of information go directly against operational doctrine, though. Especially the bell tower and tank parts. Why leave a man in a bell tower to ring a bell when an artillery or mortar battery would likely have to be closer than visual range to hear it, thus exposing it to danger? Or a valuable tank crewman for that matter.
Otherwise, awesome stuff.
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Worlds greatest troll.
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Soldiers have big hearts.
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Protip: Me-lee weapons against zombies is a bad idea. We're talking traditional shambling zombies here, so attacking them from close range is a bad idea. Why? Them Ffffers bite. A good me-lee weapon in a man on zombie slugfest is a large stick with something sharp hooked onto the end. For example, tools for cutting branches on high trees are excellent weapon against the undead hordes. Snip snip, off comes the head as long as you apply enough force. Generally however, getting into a close range battle with an undead horde is the worst thing you want to do. You always want to avoid the masses, which is why you travel light. If forced into a confrontation with the undead, however, you should pack a firearm with a small magazine size, such as a revolver or a small hunting rifle. They'll be slow enough for you to walk away from them, but their masses will likely be far too great for you to defeat. Which is why you always want to fight a retreating battle.
P.S,
Condoms work great for waterproofing equipment.
Also ITT:
Overweight zombie survival.
Discuss.
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WHAT WOULD YOU DO TO SURVIVE THE ZOMBIE OUTBREAK?
Assuming that the outbreak has already occurred and government forces have been over-run in less than twenty four hours. You need to get the Ffff out of the woods and quickly. What do you do?
Let's talk about it here.
Post your:
1. Preferred choices of gear, includes weapons. I.E What you have within 50 meters of you.
2. Survival plan.
3. Preferred choice of weapon.
4. Type of area of residence (city, suburban residence, countryside)
RON BLEAC'S ZOMBIE SURVIVAL PLAN AND KIT:
1.
- One small first aid kit including tourniquet, scalpel, clean needles, claspers, tampons. 1 and a half KG.
- One small flashlight and 6 breakglow sticks in colors of the rainbow. Less than one KG.
- Two twenty four hour meals ready to eat. 4 KG.
- Thick leather jacket and pants for clothing.
- Sturdy reinforced combat boots for footwear.
- Biker gloves.
- Red bandana for added effect.
- One portable, battery powered radio. Less than 2 KG.
- Condoms, Trojan XXL.
- A rucksack.
- One 16-inch multitool bayonet.
- Two belts. That's right. Two. Belts.
- 2x Plastic bag.
- Vaseline.
- 3 liters of water. Weight: A Ffffing lot.
2.
- Lubricate condoms with vaseline before slipping MREs, the radio and the first aid kit into a condom separately. Lubricate inside of plastic bag. Place condoms into plastic bag. Secure bag tightly. Take the other plastic bag, pour 1/3rds of the vaseline tube into the plastic bag. Lubricate thoroughly, take the other plastic bag and place it inside this one. Secure tightly. I mean airtight, motherFfffer.
- Go into kitchen and fetch Smith&Wesson Model 642 from breadbasket. Load 5 rounds. Take 20 more. Stash revolver inside jacket on the left internal pocket.
- Lock all doors except basement door. Leave electricity on. Post a message on Ordo forums: Zombie apocalypse occurring. See you later!
- Take a shit.
- Tie water containers to backpack. Secure with belt.
- Leave through the basement door.
- Go up to garage, get bicycle.
- Bike like Darth Vader himself wanted to anal rape you. All the way outside of town. Avoid all survivors at this point and most certainly avoid getting in contact with people of the I AM FfffING DEAD-persuasion.
- Proceed North. Avoid highways, use small roads and only pass through small towns.
- Get to Vantaa civilian airport. Small airstrip in the middle of nowhere with a large amount of aircraft owned by civil aviators. In rare use. No, I didn't come here for the aircraft you doodoo. I came here for gasoline and a sturdy vehicle!
- Go to the smart car park and find the ones designated for airport personnel use. Break into the locked control tower and fetch keys. Smash a window at chest height for good measure and leave a breaklight on it. Indicate safe passage.
- Go to the back of the carpark and find empty 6 liter jerrycans. Take these and walk 500 meters to the other side of the airstrip to fill up with gasoline.
- Get gasoline.
- Walk 500 meters back to the car park.
- Fill the choice of smartcar up with fuel.
- Enter one of the hangars on the airstrip and fetch black paint.
- Go back to the smart car.
- Paint a black skull on the hood. Use fingers.
- Go to the side of the smart car and finger paint the words "Cunt Destroyer" on the car door.
- Place supplies on the front seat of the car. Keep weapon on you.
- Drive 300 kilometers up north using small roads.
- Take boat to summerhouse.
- Live as king of the hill until zombie ghosts be gone.
3.
Firearms. There are plenty of these at the summerhouse. Several rifles and plenty of ammunition to go with. +1 shotgun for good measure, but very little ammo. The summerhouse is in the middle of a lake on a secluded island so it should be relatively secure. On top of that, the building is actually on a hill with a full 360 view from the top across the entire lake and the surrounding town of Haukivuori (population 200.) Plenty of supplies as well. The facility has its own generator and a separate sauna that can be fortified in case a siege situation ever occurs. The sauna is accessible by a tunnel that is dug through the bedrock and emerges through a single door in the sauna facility. Tunnel is concrete with several rooms used for storage of building materials etc.
4.
Countryside with the nearest major city being a mere 50 kilometers away, but the lack of roads provides relative safety as the zombie hordes will no doubt be separated by the fact that the area is nearly 90% woodland.
- One small first aid kit including tourniquet, scalpel, clean needles, claspers, tampons. 1 and a half KG.
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Bet Poland gets all the chicks.
Ffff, Poland is an amazing country.
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Did you know? Yelling makes bullets more effective.
[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fGCsh_bnhuQ
Our ship is built of shadows
it defies the laws of nature
with winches, ropes and tachilon sails
it travels across empty waves
on their decks a crew clad in red
as if painted in blood and gore
through capes, hoods and from within the clarette
shine small silvery eyes
And the most senior of all is Maltam Hiram
the rouge commander, he
knows the secret of the Schwartzild rings
and the neutron stars and kefeidi
we follow his secret trails
as the ghouls of space
we strike deep and disappear again
Fear itself shakes at our appearance
But when the others rest during the day
sits the commander alone and silent
he remembers all of his years
and his sadness, his far away loved one
with his lidless eyes stares at
a small white stone
caressing it with great care
And the most senior of all is Maltam Hiram
the rouge commander, he
knows the secret of the Schwartzild rings
and the neutron stars and kefeidi
we follow his secret trails
as the ghouls of space
we strike deep and disappear again
Fear itself shakes at our appearance
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Excerpt from the final page of the entire book with a short description of events at the battle of Tali-Ihantala
I could see the "Sotka" *(T-34) tank closing in from the end of the road, followed by a small stream of infantry in brown battle jackets. The large tracks of the battle tank kicked up thick dust as it trundled along towards us and the engine roared with great defiance, spitting out black smoke from the exhaust pipes at the rear of the vehicle. To our shock, the tank began picking up speed, the barrel of the gun pointed directly at our position. We began looking for immediate identifying insignia, or anything that could give away the nationality.
Our dreams were dashed.
Short bursts from its coaxial machinegun killed two men to my right, Erkki and Karhu bit the bullet before they could move away. I, knowing that the tank would likely continue driving down the road with complete disregard for its own safety, dove into the ditch and propped my weapon against the edge. With short pulls of the trigger I began firing at the squad of infantry using the tank as cover, hitting three or four before I was forced back down by return fire. The Soviet infantry squad then pulled off of the road and disappeared into the forest, presumably to tend to their wounded.
Jarkko crawled up behind me and gave me a piled-up charge (* a large improvised weapon consisting of a staff and three large slabs of high explosive tied onto it, with a priming cord acting as a primitive detonation mechanism), "Don't miss." He said and began retreating back down the ditch. Private Otso, a new addition to the company stretched his hand towards me from my left and asked for the charge. Otso had played baseball in the junior league prior to entering the military and had shown me his skill at throwing various objects before so without thinking, I handed the charge to him. Otso requested covering fire with a wave of his arm and the 16 men behind us began firing at the tank, drawing its attention away to the sides of the road. The coaxial gun continued spitting fire.
The new addition to the company then clambered his way up the ditch and onto the main road itself, completely exposing himself to the enemy tank. I saw him yank the detonation cord out of the staff and he began a sprint towards the armored monster. Foot after foot, Otso began picking up speed. As he closed in the covering fire from our troops intensified to undistinquishable shots, each automatic weapon expending entire magazines and belts of ammunition in assistance. When he was within ten meters of the tank, he began fumbling with the priming cord and slowed down. Several sharp bursts of fire rang out from in front of him and I saw him fall, with the tank still rumbling towards him.
"Get out of there Otso, you'll be crushed! For god's sake man, get off the bloody road!" I screamed.
Otso reached for the charge and began crawling back towards friendly lines, a trail of clarette following him closely. The T-34's coaxial gun traversed and dropped down onto him, the barrel pointing square at his back. But he refused to fire. Instead, he picked up speed. The young private obviously in a state of panic continued to crawl directly to us with the tank angling steadily towards him but advancing at a slow pace. Otso was exhausted and halted, laying flat on his stomach.
Just as the tank was about to crush him, something happened. He reached for the priming cord and pulled it completely off of the explosive. He then hugged it to his chest and intentionally rolled himself directly under the track of the vehicle. The explosion ripped the track clean off of the tank. Seconds after the now decommissioned tank crew attempted to evacuate the vehicle to surrender, waving an improvised white flag from the tower. We allowed the crew to slowly evacuate the vehicle and put their hands up and with a wave of a hand, ordered them to approach. When the men were within 5 meters of our positions, we shot them dead. I was the first man out of the ditch and onto the road to inspect their bodies. I reached at their pockets with greedy fingers and ran through their personal belongings. I picked up a small wallet from who I assumed to be the driver of the vehicle and opened it. The small leather pocket revealed a photograph of an attractive young woman with dark hair, sweet, rosey cheeks and a soft smile. She was leaning against a man who I assumed to be the driver who we just shot. With my school Russian I was able to decipher the text on the back, "From Tatyana to Alexey with love: I will wait for you, sweetheart!"
Janne walked up to the bodies next and stared at the picture for a moment. "That's a mighty attractive babooshka (*degoratory term used in Finland for Russian women. In Russia, Babooshka stands for "grandmother") you got there, Matti. Is she single?"
I laughed and gently nudged the corpse splayed out on the road, "Well, she is now!"
Me and Janne continued to search through the bodies, discovering all kinds of interesting things. None of the crewmen carried personal documentation and we assumed that it was in the tank, but they all carried other materials which we deemed to be of interest. For one, we discovered a small paper package in the back pocket of who we assumed to be the gunner. It was small, orange in colour and had text printed on the front. I read it out loud to Janne with my poor English.
"U.S Army Field Ration D. To be eaten slowly in about half an hour. Dissolve by crumbling into a cup of boiling water to make a beverage. Ingredients: Chocolate, sugar, skim powder milk, cocoa fat, oat flour, art. flavouring." I said and handed the package over to Janne.
"I assume art means art as in, artistic?" He said and spun the package around in his fingers.
- "Yeah, I think so. I assume the art is on the inside since it must be colourful. You know, not to expose yourself to the enemy while eating during the day in a camouflaged position."
"I didn't know they made powdered milk out of skin. That's Ffffing sick."
- "Silly Americans."
Janne unwrapped the strange box and revealed a small aluminum foil covered bar, which he quickly undid. He realized that what he was holding was a chocolate bar and held it up against the sun.
"Where's the art?"
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You're going to die a horrible, horrible death.
Welcome!
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Notice how all of those movies are sequels and not original.
[Ordo] Unofficial Operation: Friendship is Magic
in General Discussion
Posted
When I was doing my national service some people brought in portable DVD players to watch stuff with. Mostly porn. What we could do is splurge a bit and get like, some sort of DVD box set that has all episodes aired so far. I'm assuming this guy is going to be there for a while, so the most we could do when it comes to MLP is wait for the DVDs to roll out. Could throw in a couple of good movies or other shows too. Like, BlackAdder. We watched that shit so much, one of us was repeating all the lines before the characters on screen did. Made for really good timewasting after we got done with routines, inspections, drills and maintenance.