Desereck Creeggan Posted November 5, 2008 Share Posted November 5, 2008 Okay. I pondered this for about a day and came up with a conclusion, here it is. You may have noticed me acting wierd lately...well. I want to let you know it is perfectly normal and might last for several months, if not years. I'm grieving inside. For several years I held back emotions, and it exploded like a soda shook too much. I've been through so many deaths, but really, this is the biggest one yet. Around September 20th my mom was murdered, I only recieved the news a couple days ago, my family had searched for her for so long, only to get confronted with this : http://cbs4denver.com/local/Burning.Human....s.2.824050.htmlIt was a devastating blow to me, only losing my brother in law to suicide in 2007, leaving my sister and (now) 2 year old neice. My mother took care of my sister for the whole thing, and my neice was like a second daughter. And i lost my grandmother (very young) In 2005 to cancer, she was my second mom after my parents divorced. I spent all my summers with her.Life is hard isnt it? Gives you delicious fruit, but locusts to spoil the fruit some days.Well, thats the reason I've been so wierd. Thank you all for listening, and for your support. It really does mean a lot and I mean that with entire honesty.Desereck.Edit: Live your life with no regrets guys. Go the extra mile. I know i'm regretting a LOT of things right now. One of them being not making plans to see my mom the month before all this transpired. I feel like a complete idiot and i really wish i could go back. Take it from me guys. Love and be loved. Live your life to make yourself and others happy.Pointless hurtful rambling. Just felt good to get it out.(Edit2: To never hear her voice or see her face again hurts so much. But not only the effect on me i can see. The rest of my family must be taking it just as hard which hurts so much more. So much pain. Why. Why do we do this stuff to eachother. It makes me so angry why the world is as it is. Regrets; regrets are all i have now. Regrets, family, and friends, the good memories to never be tasted again in real life. The final goodbye...the final i love you...it hurts so much, to never be able to do that again, or see the smile i so much knew and the kidness. The fights and the mishaps only magnified in my tear soaked eyes. Its not fair, so unfair. Why couldnt it happen the other way around...i'd give my life to bring her back...just why...)Every couple hours i cry for my loss, and i feel a sense of not being alone in my venture, of how many other people are going or who went through the same thing as i am. murders every several seconds makes me sick to think of how evil the human race is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aryte Posted November 5, 2008 Share Posted November 5, 2008 :/ Desereck, it's heart wrenching, to say in the least. As a justice major, you read a lot about this sort of horrid crap, but it never really puts it into perspective the real agony behind it. If there's anything I can do, please, let me know. I may be miles and miles away, but my heart and prayers are with you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keystone Gray Posted November 5, 2008 Share Posted November 5, 2008 I'll second that. When I heard, I felt my heart sink. Just keep strong, Des. I'm here for you as well. If you need anything, just ask. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desereck Creeggan Posted November 5, 2008 Author Share Posted November 5, 2008 Thanks, both of you. It means so much to me that people are here for me. You are all my second family, quite litteraly. Its the thing I need right now, support. Thank you, so much. I'm doing the best I can. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desereck Creeggan Posted November 5, 2008 Author Share Posted November 5, 2008 Freaking great, just came in today. http://www.alamosanews.com/V2_news_article...d=10134&page=72 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keystone Gray Posted November 5, 2008 Share Posted November 5, 2008 I hope they catch the bastard. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sosarin Demar Posted November 5, 2008 Share Posted November 5, 2008 It's such a harsh reality that's fallen upon you, and those words put it mildly. As I've said before, I can't imagine what it must be like. For what it's worth, I'm here if you need anything. If you feel the need to express yourself in someone's ear, my ear is here. If there's anything fun you'd like to do in SL, just hit me on up and let's do somethin'. Whatever it takes and whatever you do -- you gotta do what you gotta do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sekonda Huet Posted November 5, 2008 Share Posted November 5, 2008 o.o; Trust me, in life we are indeed given the Fruits and the Locusts. Some people have more locusts than fruit. The important thing when dealing with Grief is to not avoid it and act like you will be fine, I learned this; unfortunately too late to help myself.If you're ever down remember you can always talk to one of us, I'm sure all of your brothers at Ordo have an ear for you.Part of my employment was bereavement counselling which never gets easier, I've always got an open door if you want a chat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gunau Sodwind Posted November 5, 2008 Share Posted November 5, 2008 wait do you live in denver? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desereck Creeggan Posted November 5, 2008 Author Share Posted November 5, 2008 No, Gunau, I live near the Four corners.Thank you Sosarin, Sekonda you all are helping so much by being here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Streak Bender Posted November 5, 2008 Share Posted November 5, 2008 You and your family are in all of my prayers, mate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diablos Korobase Posted November 6, 2008 Share Posted November 6, 2008 I can't begin to imagine what Your going through, but know that we are all here for You should You need to talk or just need a distraction to help You get through the day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Knightblade Fayray Posted November 6, 2008 Share Posted November 6, 2008 I'm here if you need anyone to talk to as well, just hit me up with an IM if you need me Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hunter Abrams Posted November 6, 2008 Share Posted November 6, 2008 All I have to say is... damn.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aelus Posted November 6, 2008 Share Posted November 6, 2008 I don't know the pain you feel for I've never been in that situation; but during times of hardship, the right thoughts should prevail to pull one through. Always keep in mind there is more good in the world than bad.In all honesty, after such a situation, I would probably change my focus in life and become a police officer. But that's just me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Agares Tretiak Posted November 6, 2008 Share Posted November 6, 2008 That's terrible news, I wish there was more than words I can go give to show my concern and sympathy. I'm not a praying man, by nature... but for you and yours, I'll make an exception. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desereck Creeggan Posted November 6, 2008 Author Share Posted November 6, 2008 Thanks guys, all of you. You all make me so happy and proud to know you all. Aelus - I'm already in law enforcement (Park Ranger - Colorado State Parks) so yeah, i know what needs to be done to catch this bastard.. we've got the Saguache County Police Department on it, The Colorado Bureau of Investigation and the Federal Bureau of Investigation all on it. I'm relatively positive they'll get caught Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
