RazorFox Posted June 14, 2011 Share Posted June 14, 2011 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kristian Posted June 14, 2011 Share Posted June 14, 2011 Well that covers most of Curia's daily business. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlet Flaks Posted June 15, 2011 Share Posted June 15, 2011 trying to read this makes my head hurt. what the fuck man. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arokh Takakura Posted June 15, 2011 Share Posted June 15, 2011 trying to read this makes my head hurt. what the fuck man. I don't see what's wrong with this, this is plain english, why are you all getting so confused? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlet Flaks Posted June 15, 2011 Share Posted June 15, 2011 ХУЙ ГОВНО. Я АУТ. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RazorFox Posted June 15, 2011 Author Share Posted June 15, 2011 I don't see what's wrong with this, this is plain english, why are you all getting so confused? I cacked meself in me own trousers Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RazorFox Posted June 15, 2011 Author Share Posted June 15, 2011 I don't see what's wrong with this, this is plain english, why are you all getting so confused? I've cacked meself in me own trousers Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jester Spearmann Posted June 15, 2011 Share Posted June 15, 2011 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arokh Takakura Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 Below are some rough and literal translations of everything you see in the above document, I don't understand why you're all struggling so much, but here it is in plain english anyway.Chavs nicked me crispsYoung men on state-welfare comitted theft of my potato chips.A yob had a peek at me knobA loutish young man glanced at my penis at the urinals.Some pensioner mucked about in me dustbinAn elderly citizen enroached on my waste-produce container.Me mate had a go at me bollocksMy friend made a grab for my testicles.A wanker had me knickers all sussedAn ignorant and annoying man had my undergarments all figured out.I've cacked in me own trousersI've soiled in my own trousers.A spiv shagged me bird in the bootA hispanic man had intercourse with my girlfriend in the trunk of the car.That bloke from the Beeb took the piss out of me biscuitThat gentleman from the British Broadcasting Corporation made mockery of my spouse.Noel gallagher bloody well rogered me bum, didn't heThe front-man from the band Oasis bloody well comitted sexual assault on my backside, didn't he?A tosser did sod all for me round the pubA lazy masturbator I employed didn't do any work for me around the Public house(Bar). I got pissed in the tube and lost five quidI became very intoxicated on the London Underground rail service and lost Five Great British Pounds. (£5)Blimey, oiks gobbed in me liftOh bother, hooligans spat in my car.The barrister bollocksed up me VauxhallThe Crown Prosecution Court employee damaged my Vauxhall automobile.A Nonce fooked me wee ladA Pedophile sexually assaulted my young boy.A barmy ned banged on about me mingeA mentally deranged non-educated-delinquent rambled on about my wife.There was some manner of cock-up regarding me doleThere was some manner of mis-understanding regarding my state-welfare handout.A cheeky twat happy-slapped the Queen mumA prankster filmed himself running up and smacking the Queen mother of the Monarchy.A wide boy chatted me up on boxing dayA young male banker made sexual advances towards me on the day after christmas.Charlie bit meGo figure.The vicar was well chuffed at me flatThe local parishioner was very pleased with my abode.A hooligan took the piss out of me o-levelsA young obnoxious violent man made jest of my education grades.Some daft tossers slagged me off at me mate'sSome silly lazy men made derogatory remarks about me at my friend's house.madchester did in me headI found the City of Manchester incredibly annoyingSome wally bottled me and my Biro is well knackeredSome simpleton smashed a glass bottle over my head and now my welfare check is very damaged.Spent half me bank holiday in the loo, whinging about PakisSpent over half of my national day off in the lavatory, complaining about Asian immigrants.Me mum made a right bloody mess of me bangers and mashMy Mother made a terrible mess of my dinner, fried sausages and mashed potatoes.Had a bit of a row with me missus at TescoI got into a loud argument with my spouse at the Super-Market, Tesco PLC.I've lost me welligntons at HeathrowI've lost my rubber-based water-proof shoes at London's Heathrow Airport.Them merseyside Skiffle boys went tits up in WhistonThose Footballers from Skiffle, Merseyside had a terrible match against the home team, Whiston.Some Tory tosser buggered me in the queueA lazy man from the Conservative political party comitted sexual assault on my bottom in the line.A dodgy bloke fancied me teaA mentally unstable man took an unhealthy interest in my caffeinated beverage.A sodding tiggywinkle shat in me trainersA wet child passed excrement in my running shoes.A tarted-up mentalist cloned me mobileA mentally unsound woman in heavy make-up and perfume cloned my sim-card, stealing all my numbers.A welsh prat had a wank in me miniA stupid man from Wales masturbated in my British-Leyland Mini-Cooper.A poof had a larf at me fagsA homosexual laughed at my choice of cigarettes.Me MP, The dustman, couldn't be bothered.My member of Parilment for my constituency, and the waste-collection employee, could not be bothered to resolve the issue. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RazorFox Posted June 16, 2011 Author Share Posted June 16, 2011 The funny thing is that I've never been to the United Kingdom in my life but I understood 100% of these.Also:A barmy ned banged on about me mingeA mentally deranged non-educated-delinquent rambled on about my wife.It should be noted that a "ned" is specifically the Scottish equivalent to a chav. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desereck Creeggan Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 Why is it when I read these I hear them in the voice of Austin Powers? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arokh Takakura Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 The funny thing is that I've never been to the United Kingdom in my life but I understood 100% of these.Also:It should be noted that a "ned" is specifically the Scottish equivalent to a chav.The term 'NED' comes from a media acronym from 70's-80's british newspapers, it was something the upper-classes used to describe the scruffy masses that couldn't afford to, or didn't go to school, and usually became petty criminals or just scumbags. Hence "Non-Educated-Delinquent." They even recently made a film about it called "Neds" The Scots later adopted it as slang to describe 'chavs'. Which are basically the modern day same thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RazorFox Posted June 16, 2011 Author Share Posted June 16, 2011 The term 'NED' comes from a media acronym from 70's-80's british newspapers, it was something the upper-classes used to describe the scruffy masses that couldn't afford to, or didn't go to school, and usually became petty criminals or just scumbags. Hence "Non-Educated-Delinquent." They even recently made a film about it called "Neds" The Scots later adopted it as slang to describe 'chavs'. Which are basically the modern day same thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Agares Tretiak Posted June 23, 2011 Share Posted June 23, 2011 I bloody well hate chavs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trinity Heckroth Posted June 23, 2011 Share Posted June 23, 2011 Arokh, even though I understood them originally, I laughed all the way through the translation. I seriously have tears. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Esva Posted June 28, 2011 Share Posted June 28, 2011 I don't see what's wrong with this, this is plain english, why are you all getting so confused? + 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Esva Posted June 28, 2011 Share Posted June 28, 2011 http://www.cockneyrhymingslang.co.uk/:P Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
