Clicky

Jump to content
Tiridates Mikadze

Grimdark Story Time with Tiri.

Recommended Posts

So, to begin, a little story:

Once upon a time, there was an Inquisitor. This little Inquisitor was known as Gari, Rude Bastard of the Tracian Purge on Wilhelma XIIV. He was not a nice man. He was very short, and very round, but this didn't hinder him in the least. No, his anger at being short and round only made him angrier. Angrier at the Heretic Cunts who he, deep down in his stoney little heart, blamed for his miniature stature, rotund build, and hideously ugly face, as well as a very, very awkward adolesnce fraught with rejection by Sisters of Battle when he offered to take a Canoness to the Emperor's Ball, and she tried to set him on fire when she mistook him for a mutant, or when he was made fun of by the other Inquisitors for not being able to climb a wall of corpses in the Gymnasium Courses. It didn't help that the burning Promethium of the Canoness's well intentioned, though mistaken efforts at purgation made him all the uglier, either.

Regardless, Gari was a dick, and a very rude bastard indeed. Why, one time, he declared exterminatus on a little farming world because the inhabitants hid their children from his bloated, scarred visage. It was no suprise when Gari declared the Exterminatus for their alleged concealment of arcane artifacts of the Warp that had tainted the entirety of the planet. He was especially noted for his insulting every mother of every High Lord of Terra during a banquet given in his honour after his succesful extermination of the Arcane Stronghold of Bumphuk VI, a seemingly quiet and loyal farming world.

It was suprising, then, when he was leading a squad of Kasrkin on the Ork infested jungle planet of Vet'iam and had been very, very rude about a comrade of theirs who'd fallen saving his life, that he somehow was caught in the back, and the front by the explosions of Imperial Standard Issue Grenades, and somehow shot over a thousand times by exceedingly precise fast-repeating laser fire from Cadian Special Operations Assault Rifles. The official joint investigation by the Inquisition and the Administratum was inconclusive, But nobody really cared, because Gari was a douchebag.

So, let that be a lesson to you, children: Being an asshole, even in the service of the Immortal God Emperor can still get you fragged.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.



×

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Privacy Policy, and Terms of Use.