RazorFox

If you don't cake every inch of your AC in miniguns, you fail at everything.

I probably wasted like a million hours playing Project Phantasma on PS1 when I was but a wee little bastard.

Maybe!

This is not healthy for my LCD monitor.

Zrazor: I want a drawing of Razor fighting a velociraptor Zrazor: with katanas Dx Zrazor: As in like the raptor has one too Zrazor: On top of the Eiffel Tower Anlysia: So gay. Anlysia: Fag. Anlysia: FAGGOT Zrazor: Which is being carried through the air by a fleet of chinook helicopters Anlysia: FUCK YOU Zrazor: On Mars Anlysia: :D Zrazor: YOU KNOW THAT'S THE COOLEST IDEA EVER Zrazor: oh oh also this takes place during WWII

Yeah, I heard they got age-reported or something.

"Oh, we had a seder at church once for Passover, it was pretty fun! o3o"

Yes, yes we do, actually.

If I could burn this idiotic meth-addled hick town to the fucking ground and get away with it, I'd do it in a heartbeat. See, you know this place is boring and fucking ignorant because they started off the piece with "EVERYONE IN SALEM IS TALKING ABOUT FOX 2 NEWS" because a news story featuring this town is the most exciting thing that's happened here since Salem native William Jennings Brian ran for president for the third time unsuccessfully in 1908. FOX's story beats out the invention of Miracle Whip at Max Crosset's Cafe in 1931 on the exciting thing meter, as well as the last Tea Party rally held across the street from the courthouse. The GI Bill of Rights is also somehow attributed to Salem but I'm really not sure where that connection is being made. Salem has a population of 7909 as of the 2000 Census, although I think the population has decreased since then due to the economy. The town's population is 97.13% white. This is the whitest place I have ever seen. If I don't leave town for a month, I'll run across maybe one person of color or ethnicity. So FOX 2 comes to town from St. Louis and does a story about the 30 or so kids that go to the park and punch each other for shits and giggles. I've actually attended one of these fights. I was skateboarding over at the skatepark and all these kids start going off into the woods and I'm hearing about a fight so I go out there and it's literally exactly as described by the story. Two kids take pot shots at each other while people stand around and tape it with their phones. I just kind of stood around and watched because it was actually pretty entertaining. It was a fat kid up against some slightly taller, slightly more muscular kid. The fat kid lost I think. I know most of the people in this piece. At one point during the video, you can see a kid in a black t-shirt leaning against a white van. That's Micah Crippin, younger brother of Mark Crippin, who I used to buy weed from back when I smoked. The hair stylist that talked about FOX being in town is Abby Meador, who I believe is related to Kip Meador, who runs a home improvement company here and is one of my dad's beer buddies. At one point you see a Salem Police SUV. That's the only SUV the Salem PD has and it's driven by officer Jeff Mount who gave me a ticket for going 50 in a 35 zone when I was 17. Salem High School Superintendent Brad Detering is kind of a dick and the students call him "3-D" because he only has three fingers on one hand (two of them were torn off in a water skiing accident). Rygads coined him a newer, but still less oft-used nickname, "Control-alt-deletering," which I think is funnier. Detering also called the cops on me and Rygads because we once set up some speakers in one of the park pavilions and started playing rave music really loud, and the park is across the street from the high school. The "new" skate park has been around for a few years. We that use it were promised an additional halfpipe if the skatepark was kept clean. The park was kept clean and the city spent the stimulus money on adding a bunch of waterslides and shit to the city pool and calling it the "Salem Aquatic Center." So yeah. That's what's up.

FOX Files Follow Up: Salem, Illinois Fighting. List of things to do around here, apparently: -Skateboard -Get drunk -Smoke weed -Video games -Church -Authentic drive-in movie theater -Punch each other in the face

Or ginger ale out of a frosty mug.

Yeah, those under 21 are exempt.

You'll be one of the first ones I call when we kick off this shindig.

I honestly can't recall a time in my life when I didn't want sushi.

MMMMMMMMMMMMM.

I feel all warm and fuzzy reading this and knowing that my baby is all grown up and a full-fledged productive organization. Tactica: Blazing the trail to victory since 2008.

"The men is mightier than the pilum" - Write 50 combat reports. "Carpal tunnel syndrome" - Write 100 combat reports. "Imperial Secretary Lifetime Achievement Award" - Write 500 combat reports. "Noooooose" - Collect 15 close-up pictures of your avatar's nose taken and sent to you by Sera Otoro. "Somebody call for an exterminator?" - Attach multiple Insidiae C4 huds, rig the entirety of an enemy base with explosives, and then blow them from the spawn one by one.

Give me your number and I will personally drunk-dial you during.

Friday night, starting at 8 PM EST, ye who are in Ordo and are of legal drinking age will be participating in a Friday night pub-crawl that I will be organizing. This will consist of everyone going to a bar, and then going to another bar after maybe like a half hour or so and we will keep going to other bars until everyone is sufficiently fucked up. The process will continue as we go from bar to bar. The event ends when everyone is too drunk and general consensus has determined that it is bedtime for everyone. Attendance is mandatory. If you're over 21 years of age and are a member of Ordo attending Anthrocon, you're coming to this. Those who do not attend are pussies and I will break your fucking kneecaps. BTW THIS IS FOR ANTHROCON

Hush shawty.

My ISP is a local company called US SONET, which funnels broadband internet access into this rural area from their backbone company, Qwest. Fiberoptic data connection, phone/TV/internet package. Was pretty fucking state-of-the-art back in like 2003 when we got it. SONET is actually pretty okay. Tech support is never unpleasant because whenever I call in my uncle picks up so I'm like "Yeah, hey Gary. Internet shit out again. Oh it's down everywhere? Shit. When'll it be back up? Tomorrow? Fuck. Oh well. How're the kids doing?" Problem is, especially lately, that the Qwest has just been goddamn terrible. Like "my ping has been over 1000 for the past hour what is going on" terrible.

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