Arokh Takakura

[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=viMPqIBRbrM&feature=youtube_gdata

I had a dream, just the other night. The world economy suffered yet another slump, but this time it was catastrophic. The entire world leadership devolved into chaos, there was no currency or trade between nations, lawlessness broke out. Looting, riots, mass crime wave etc. This phenomenon exploded across the globe, even to the UK and other far-reaching nations affected by the fallout of economic destruction. (This was a very long dream.) Amidst all this chaos and me hiding in our country home with my family like "Ohfuckofuck." I get a call, from Aryte on my mobile phone, and he's all "Report to this location, immediately." and listed a place near my home that was open. So naturally I go there out of "What the fuck" notion. Anyway I get there and a fucking osprey lands, with like 20 real life Ordo troops jumping out and bundling me in, throwing gear at me to put on. Long story short, Aryte had taken advantage of the economic chaos and lawlessness and his position at work to attain a serious shitload of cash and privatise, and realise the Ordo Imperialis as a -real- army, starting small with the nearest members, then just expanding outwards across the US, then globally. One or two peeps chickened out, but the rest became like super hard-core and signed up for the real deal. I shipped out to the US where the Ordo was massing it's small band of 300-400 troops along with a few new recruits that tagged along with people being airlifted etc. And then we tried to claim a small state in the southeast of the US somewhere. It was crazy.

The term 'NED' comes from a media acronym from 70's-80's british newspapers, it was something the upper-classes used to describe the scruffy masses that couldn't afford to, or didn't go to school, and usually became petty criminals or just scumbags. Hence "Non-Educated-Delinquent." They even recently made a film about it called "Neds" The Scots later adopted it as slang to describe 'chavs'. Which are basically the modern day same thing.

Below are some rough and literal translations of everything you see in the above document, I don't understand why you're all struggling so much, but here it is in plain english anyway. Chavs nicked me crisps Young men on state-welfare comitted theft of my potato chips. A yob had a peek at me knob A loutish young man glanced at my penis at the urinals. Some pensioner mucked about in me dustbin An elderly citizen enroached on my waste-produce container. Me mate had a go at me bollocks My friend made a grab for my testicles. A wanker had me knickers all sussed An ignorant and annoying man had my undergarments all figured out. I've cacked in me own trousers I've soiled in my own trousers. A spiv shagged me bird in the boot A hispanic man had intercourse with my girlfriend in the trunk of the car. That bloke from the Beeb took the piss out of me biscuit That gentleman from the British Broadcasting Corporation made mockery of my spouse. Noel gallagher bloody well rogered me bum, didn't he The front-man from the band Oasis bloody well comitted sexual assault on my backside, didn't he? A tosser did sod all for me round the pub A lazy masturbator I employed didn't do any work for me around the Public house(Bar). I got pissed in the tube and lost five quid I became very intoxicated on the London Underground rail service and lost Five Great British Pounds. (£5) Blimey, oiks gobbed in me lift Oh bother, hooligans spat in my car. The barrister bollocksed up me Vauxhall The Crown Prosecution Court employee damaged my Vauxhall automobile. A Nonce fooked me wee lad A Pedophile sexually assaulted my young boy. A barmy ned banged on about me minge A mentally deranged non-educated-delinquent rambled on about my wife. There was some manner of cock-up regarding me dole There was some manner of mis-understanding regarding my state-welfare handout. A cheeky twat happy-slapped the Queen mum A prankster filmed himself running up and smacking the Queen mother of the Monarchy. A wide boy chatted me up on boxing day A young male banker made sexual advances towards me on the day after christmas. Charlie bit me Go figure. The vicar was well chuffed at me flat The local parishioner was very pleased with my abode. A hooligan took the piss out of me o-levels A young obnoxious violent man made jest of my education grades. Some daft tossers slagged me off at me mate's Some silly lazy men made derogatory remarks about me at my friend's house. madchester did in me head I found the City of Manchester incredibly annoying Some wally bottled me and my Biro is well knackered Some simpleton smashed a glass bottle over my head and now my welfare check is very damaged. Spent half me bank holiday in the loo, whinging about Pakis Spent over half of my national day off in the lavatory, complaining about Asian immigrants. Me mum made a right bloody mess of me bangers and mash My Mother made a terrible mess of my dinner, fried sausages and mashed potatoes. Had a bit of a row with me missus at Tesco I got into a loud argument with my spouse at the Super-Market, Tesco PLC. I've lost me welligntons at Heathrow I've lost my rubber-based water-proof shoes at London's Heathrow Airport. Them merseyside Skiffle boys went tits up in Whiston Those Footballers from Skiffle, Merseyside had a terrible match against the home team, Whiston. Some Tory tosser buggered me in the queue A lazy man from the Conservative political party comitted sexual assault on my bottom in the line. A dodgy bloke fancied me tea A mentally unstable man took an unhealthy interest in my caffeinated beverage. A sodding tiggywinkle shat in me trainers A wet child passed excrement in my running shoes. A tarted-up mentalist cloned me mobile A mentally unsound woman in heavy make-up and perfume cloned my sim-card, stealing all my numbers. A welsh prat had a wank in me mini A stupid man from Wales masturbated in my British-Leyland Mini-Cooper. A poof had a larf at me fags A homosexual laughed at my choice of cigarettes. Me MP, The dustman, couldn't be bothered. My member of Parilment for my constituency, and the waste-collection employee, could not be bothered to resolve the issue.

I don't see what's wrong with this, this is plain english, why are you all getting so confused?

BT: "You should notice an improved service now sir." Me: -looks.- "....:| NOPE." Good god, it takes me like 15 minutes to load a 1 minute youtube video in 240p. It's driving me insane. Is BT seriously fucked in the UK? I'm jonesing so bad with no decent workable net, I might actually kill just to see that bandwidth go over 1mbps, I'm like HHNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGH! when it slowly wobbles up from 0.0

Stop posting faster Internet speeds ;-;

For the past two days, it has been faster for me to look up a web-page on my iPhone's 3G or even EDGE connection, rather than my home internet connection, I can't even watch youtube videos without giving them half an hour first to download. It repeatedly hiccups, kicking me out of SL and breaking websites mid-load, and they refuse to speak to me because I'm not the 'account founder'. And to be honest, I don't even think it's as fast as that speed test says, considering Dial-up loads web-pages faster than this shit. Oh and you see that? "Slower than 77% of GB(Great britain)" I am slower than everyone else in the UK, good stuff.

It doesn't work.

[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w1qGXf5QiW8&feature=channel_video_title One cadet was harmed in the making of this feature.

THIS IS TOTALLY NOT ME BORROWING A FRIEND'S FURSUIT AND BEING A FURRY OH I AM SUCH A JOKER HAHA.

WHATS WRONG WITH MY LITTLE PONY, I GO THERE IT'S AWESOME.

Me and my other half were playing Saints row 2 over the internet the other day, and we got up to some stupidity. [media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wa55B21HQ7M&feature=feedf Also, WE R GUD AT MINECRAFT [media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9i67dFHHY_g My freinds perspective of this. VV [media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-bCB6X42ZRs&feature=related

Might as well start the ball rolling! I recently purchased a used Canon 300D EOS D-SLR camera with a bunch of macro lenses and a dedicated Tamron macro lens. I've always been a habitual photographer but I decided to take a more professional turn at it. In the picture below is my Mag-Lite 4-cell. Laser engraved with the Ordo Imperialis-Curia Emblem. I'm still learning so forgive me if it's a rather amateur macro-photo! Here is some english money for all you americans out there. :D And this is my slightly retarded Dog Sunny.

Decided to create this thread as we had a lot of mini threads being created about stuff people wanted to show then dying off. Got something you want to show the Ordo? Show it here! Photos, videos, music, anything that belongs to you or you created! Might be worth a sticky if all goes well!

Today is towel day!

Something is very wrong..

Thankyou Ron for making me burst out laughing in a quiet and crowded staffroom at work. >_<

Ook, you can stop having those dreams, I killed him remember?

I want you to make me a custom one. <3~

Now that would be telling.

I AM SECRETLY A MIDGET. (No but srsly, that's the chicken coop.)

My ride. OH IT WAS SO SHINY WHEN I TOOK THIS.