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Why can't the English teach their children how to speak?

This verbal class distinction by now should be antique.

If you spoke as she does, sir, Instead of the way you do,

Why, you might be selling flowers, too.

An Englishman's way of speaking absolutely classifies him,

The moment he talks he makes some other

Englishman despise him.

One common language I'm afraid we'll never get.

Oh, why can't the English learn to set

A good example to people whose

English is painful to your ears?

The Scotch and the Irish leave you close to tears.

There even are places where English completely

disappears. In America, they haven't used it for years!

Why can't the English teach their children how to speak?

Norwegians learn Norwegian; the Greeks have taught their

Greek. In France every Frenchman knows

his language fro "A" to "Zed"

The French never care what they do, actually,

as long as they pronounce in properly.

Arabians learn Arabian with the speed of summer lightning.

And Hebrews learn it backwards,

which is absolutely frightening.

But use proper English you're regarded as a freak.

Why can't the English,

Why can't the English learn to speak?

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Why can't the English teach their children how to speak?

This verbal class distinction by now should be antique.

If you spoke as she does, sir, Instead of the way you do,

Why, you might be selling flowers, too.

An Englishman's way of speaking absolutely classifies him,

The moment he talks he makes some other

Englishman despise him.

One common language I'm afraid we'll never get.

Oh, why can't the English learn to set

A good example to people whose

English is painful to your ears?

The Scotch and the Irish leave you close to tears.

There even are places where English completely

disappears. In America, they haven't used it for years!

Why can't the English teach their children how to speak?

Norwegians learn Norwegian; the Greeks have taught their

Greek. In France every Frenchman knows

his language fro "A" to "Zed"

The French never care what they do, actually,

as long as they pronounce in properly.

Arabians learn Arabian with the speed of summer lightning.

And Hebrews learn it backwards,

which is absolutely frightening.

But use proper English you're regarded as a freak.

Why can't the English,

Why can't the English learn to speak?

That was painful to read, also. US SCOTS CAN SPOKE PROPER ENGRISH.

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That was definatly painful to read.

1. Don't judge a country because of a stupid kid

2. We invented the language so back off

1. It's actually a song from My Fair Lady, a piece of musical theater taking place in Edwardian London about an educated and well-to-do professor of phonetics who, on a wager with one of his contemporaries, attempts to take a cockney-speaking lower class girl and pass her off as a refined high-society aristocrat by simply teaching her how to speak proper English and practice proper etiquette and in the process, falls in love with her. Typical Broadway stuff, but lots of clever lyrics and catchy music to be found throughout. If you think I actually wrote that, I'm quite flattered.

2. Modern English (if you can still call it that, as it vastly differs today from the language spoken by Shakespeare, who is often credited with inventing Modern English) contains so many French, German, Latin, and Scandanavian influences injected into it mainly by the various nations that have invaded it over the centuries that the English themselves can hardly stake any claim to it anymore, if they ever could to begin with as English has always been keen on borrowing syntax elements from other languages.

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Guest MadMac Galaxy

1. It's actually a song from My Fair Lady, a piece of musical theater taking place in Edwardian London about an educated and well-to-do professor of phonetics who, on a wager with one of his contemporaries, attempts to take a cockney-speaking lower class girl and pass her off as a refined high-society aristocrat by simply teaching her how to speak proper English and practice proper etiquette and in the process, falls in love with her. Typical Broadway stuff, but lots of clever lyrics and catchy music to be found throughout. If you think I actually wrote that, I'm quite flattered.

2. Modern English (if you can still call it that, as it vastly differs today from the language spoken by Shakespeare, who is often credited with inventing Modern English) contains so many French, German, Latin, and Scandanavian influences injected into it mainly by the various nations that have invaded it over the centuries that the English themselves can hardly stake any claim to it anymore, if they ever could to begin with as English has always been keen on borrowing syntax elements from other languages.

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1. It's actually a song from My Fair Lady, a piece of musical theater taking place in Edwardian London about an educated and well-to-do professor of phonetics who, on a wager with one of his contemporaries, attempts to take a cockney-speaking lower class girl and pass her off as a refined high-society aristocrat by simply teaching her how to speak proper English and practice proper etiquette and in the process, falls in love with her. Typical Broadway stuff, but lots of clever lyrics and catchy music to be found throughout. If you think I actually wrote that, I'm quite flattered.

2. Modern English (if you can still call it that, as it vastly differs today from the language spoken by Shakespeare, who is often credited with inventing Modern English) contains so many French, German, Latin, and Scandanavian influences injected into it mainly by the various nations that have invaded it over the centuries that the English themselves can hardly stake any claim to it anymore, if they ever could to begin with as English has always been keen on borrowing syntax elements from other languages.

app_ss_smarty_pants_1.jpg

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