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Ron Bleac

The Zombie Survival Thread

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WHAT WOULD YOU DO TO SURVIVE THE ZOMBIE OUTBREAK?

Assuming that the outbreak has already occurred and government forces have been over-run in less than twenty four hours. You need to get the Ffff out of the woods and quickly. What do you do?

Let's talk about it here.

Post your:

1. Preferred choices of gear, includes weapons. I.E What you have within 50 meters of you.

2. Survival plan.

3. Preferred choice of weapon.

4. Type of area of residence (city, suburban residence, countryside)

RON BLEAC'S ZOMBIE SURVIVAL PLAN AND KIT:

1.

  • One small first aid kit including tourniquet, scalpel, clean needles, claspers, tampons. 1 and a half KG.
  • One small flashlight and 6 breakglow sticks in colors of the rainbow. Less than one KG.
  • Two twenty four hour meals ready to eat. 4 KG.
  • Thick leather jacket and pants for clothing.
  • Sturdy reinforced combat boots for footwear.
  • Biker gloves.
  • Red bandana for added effect.
  • One portable, battery powered radio. Less than 2 KG.
  • Condoms, Trojan XXL.
  • A rucksack.
  • One 16-inch multitool bayonet.
  • Two belts. That's right. Two. Belts.
  • 2x Plastic bag.
  • Vaseline.
  • 3 liters of water. Weight: A Ffffing lot.

2.

  • Lubricate condoms with vaseline before slipping MREs, the radio and the first aid kit into a condom separately. Lubricate inside of plastic bag. Place condoms into plastic bag. Secure bag tightly. Take the other plastic bag, pour 1/3rds of the vaseline tube into the plastic bag. Lubricate thoroughly, take the other plastic bag and place it inside this one. Secure tightly. I mean airtight, motherFfffer.
  • Go into kitchen and fetch Smith&Wesson Model 642 from breadbasket. Load 5 rounds. Take 20 more. Stash revolver inside jacket on the left internal pocket.
  • Lock all doors except basement door. Leave electricity on. Post a message on Ordo forums: Zombie apocalypse occurring. See you later!
  • Take a shit.
  • Tie water containers to backpack. Secure with belt.
  • Leave through the basement door.
  • Go up to garage, get bicycle.
  • Bike like Darth Vader himself wanted to anal rape you. All the way outside of town. Avoid all survivors at this point and most certainly avoid getting in contact with people of the I AM FfffING DEAD-persuasion.
  • Proceed North. Avoid highways, use small roads and only pass through small towns.
  • Get to Vantaa civilian airport. Small airstrip in the middle of nowhere with a large amount of aircraft owned by civil aviators. In rare use. No, I didn't come here for the aircraft you doodoo. I came here for gasoline and a sturdy vehicle!
  • Go to the smart car park and find the ones designated for airport personnel use. Break into the locked control tower and fetch keys. Smash a window at chest height for good measure and leave a breaklight on it. Indicate safe passage.
  • Go to the back of the carpark and find empty 6 liter jerrycans. Take these and walk 500 meters to the other side of the airstrip to fill up with gasoline.
  • Get gasoline.
  • Walk 500 meters back to the car park.
  • Fill the choice of smartcar up with fuel.
  • Enter one of the hangars on the airstrip and fetch black paint.
  • Go back to the smart car.
  • Paint a black skull on the hood. Use fingers.
  • Go to the side of the smart car and finger paint the words "Cunt Destroyer" on the car door.
  • Place supplies on the front seat of the car. Keep weapon on you.
  • Drive 300 kilometers up north using small roads.
  • Take boat to summerhouse.
  • Live as king of the hill until zombie ghosts be gone.

3.

Firearms. There are plenty of these at the summerhouse. Several rifles and plenty of ammunition to go with. +1 shotgun for good measure, but very little ammo. The summerhouse is in the middle of a lake on a secluded island so it should be relatively secure. On top of that, the building is actually on a hill with a full 360 view from the top across the entire lake and the surrounding town of Haukivuori (population 200.) Plenty of supplies as well. The facility has its own generator and a separate sauna that can be fortified in case a siege situation ever occurs. The sauna is accessible by a tunnel that is dug through the bedrock and emerges through a single door in the sauna facility. Tunnel is concrete with several rooms used for storage of building materials etc.

4.

Countryside with the nearest major city being a mere 50 kilometers away, but the lack of roads provides relative safety as the zombie hordes will no doubt be separated by the fact that the area is nearly 90% woodland.

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I once read a statistic that a nuclear apocalypse is roughly one hundred-thousand time more likely to occur in ten years than a zombie apocalypse. If the apocalypse would happen to be this 100000-1 chance, here's what I'd do:

Gear (Discounting living essentials)

M4A1

• Red dot non-magnifying reflex sight

• Vertical grip

Any modern military KA-BAR variant

AN/AVS-6 NVD optical enhancement w/ head strap

Kevlar improved outer tactical vest w/ sleeves and high collar

Any modern military grade steel-toed boot variant

Any modern personnel sized multifrequency radio

Map

Rope

Netting

A pair of Ffffing aviators

Plan

Fight way to to major cities, use radio if battery permits to contact other survivors. Collect with them, continue fighting to other cities until a human establishment is located. If none is, well, there's only so many years in a human lifespan, and there's a lot of cities to check.

City priority:

Austin,

Houston,

Dallas,

San Antonio,

Galveston,

El Paso,

etc.

Preferred choice of weapon would be the M4, avoiding close combat.

Area of residence would be everywhere I come across.

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Assuming within this 24 hour period the national power grid is non existent, everywhere is without electricity except for those places with generators.

1.

  • First Aid Kit
  • Wind up radio
  • Maglite 16inch Torch
  • Batteries and Solar Power Charger
  • Ball Cap
  • Thick Leather / Inner lined boots
  • Small Toolkit (Phillips & Flat head screwdriver, Plyers, Hammer and Small Hack Saw)
  • 2x Swiss Army Knifev (Incase I loose one)
  • Pens, Pencils & Paper
  • Kinetic Watch (Non Digital)
  • A Lowe Alpine TFX Outback 65:80 Backpack
  • Waterproof Clothing
  • iPod with Solar Charger
  • Micropore (Surgical Tape)
  • Anti Glare Clear Glasses
  • Katana (25.5 Inch Blade)
  • British Police Force Grade Extendible Steel Baton

2.

  • Block the door so nothing can get in from the outside while I wait for morning (I live in a 10th floor apartment :P)
  • Pack all the gear except for the clothes I plan to wear, The Ball Cap, Anti Glare Glasses, Kinetic Watch and 1 of the 2 Swiss Army Knives & Katana
  • Egress the apartment at around 9am (Plenty of light at this point) and Check stair well. (apartment doesn't have a generator so elevators wont be working)
  • If everything is Clear make my way down the stairs and exit the building as quietly as possible.
  • Head into the city (normally a 20 minute walk, but probably three times longer now with having to be cautious)
  • Go to the only gun store in the city and gain entrance.
  • Gain Entrance and make sure the store is clear, and kill any zombies found inside
  • Take 2 handguns, a shotgun and Riffle (2: Smith and Wesson Model 5906 ((dispalyed in the window)), Remington 870MCS ((also displayed)) and the Canadian PGW Timberwolf C14 MRSWS ((only decfent riffle they have there))
  • Take Copious amounts of ammo for each
  • Block all ways in, and settle down and await the next day

3,

  • Next day appropriate some sort of working vehicle (Car, Motorcycle ect) and head for nearest Military Base
  • (If People alive) Stay At Military Base .....Yay! Saved!
  • (If People Dead) Leave...quickly!
  • Keep Checking the Radio for signs of Living people
  • Head towards the nearest private airport (Not crazy enough to go to a commercial one....would be thousands of the bastards)
  • Find a small, defensible building and clear it out and get it ready in case I have to spend the night.
  • Check surrounding area and planes with fuel
  • (Plane found with fuel) Load up and take off and head south towards the Isle of Wight
  • (No Fuelled Planes) Hunker down for the night and wait till morning
  • (No Fuelled Planes) Next Morning look for fuelling station of truck and fuel a plane and take off
  • Do fly over of Isle and checking radio constantly for sign of life, if non seen or heard land at nearest private airport to refuel, eat and sleep
  • Check maps for other airfield in distance of a Cessna Corvair with a full fuel payload
  • (Airports in range) Fly to another airport again checking radio for signs of life (Rinse and repeat till life found, crash or get attacked and eaten)
  • (Airports not in range) Head for the airfields tower and clear out any zombies, and block all entrances to it, and settle down on the highest floor. and wait for morning.
  • Next morning leave and head for the ocean and appropriate a boat (sail, not engine powered), leave and anchor 6000 feet (1.136 Miles) from the shore
  • Return on occasion for food and other supplies
  • Paint the words "HELP! ALIVE!" On the sails for anyone else alive you might fly over or see from a distant boat.
  • Rinse and repeat until either rescued, died (in storm, rough sea's, capsized boat ect) or got eaten or turned into a zombie while fetching supplies from the land

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Grab Glock 22 from my closet gun case > load magazine > open mouth and insert glock > pull trigger.

Could also be done with 12 gauge from closet.

Ffff zombie apocalypses, I'd rather just end it.

^yes

And Ron, don't lie about your condom size, were all friends here.

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1. Preferred choices of gear (Excluding Essentials)

-Full First Aid kit.

-Travel 1st Aid kit

-My Ka-Bar

-Tool Box

-LED Headlamp.

-LED MagLite

-Self-Winding Watch

-ACU Pattern BDU's & MOLLE vest w/ Backpack & Hydration pack Minimum

-"Tanker" style combat boots. Ffff laces.

-Cell Phone w/ Car, USB, Wall, and Solar chargers.

-Power Converter/Inveter

-Mosin Nagant 91/30 + Bayonet

-Jericho 941R

-Savage Mark II F (Hey, a .22LR is better than nothing when shit hits the fan)

-My two "Range Cans". 7.62 Ammo cans. 1 Full of Ammo, 2nd full of cleaning supplies, hearing protection, etc.

-Fake EOTech Red-Dot from my Airsoft Stuff.

-As much non-perishable food I can grab at home

-Can opener

2. Survival plan.

Load car with supplies and drive to the GM dealership that still has a Hummer H1 (If already taken, drive to Mercedes Dealership and take G55). Thank my Cutlass for its years of loyal service, take car mezuzah (wooden box with the traveler's prayer. Serious.) and put into pocket. Fuel up both tanks of the Hummer.

---Plan 1---

Use cell phone to call near-by gun shop to inform them of my vehicle and clothing and ETA.

Take trip down interstate to gun shop. Call again to verify I am outside and generate a secret, Zombie-Proof knock. Enter gun shop.

The following is know about said gun shop.

-Building is literally built like a castle/fortress.

-Building has 8800 of 7.62x54R Minimum (maybe more in back!) as well as at least 15 crates of mil-surp 7.62, 5.56, and 9x19. Each.

-Building has a massive inventory of semi-automatic rifles, bolt action rifles, shotguns, and 20+ cases of pistols.

-Building has magazines for all weapons in inventory.

-Building has giant inventory of optics

-Building has general military surplus stuff.

-Upper floor of building has balcony.

-Large freezer & refrigerator.

-Hunting suplies

Join other people at location. Open crate of 7.62x54R on balcony and camping-style folding chair.

Lay Nagant down and go get the Pre-Ban Galil ARM 7.62 that they have sitting in a case next to the line of pistol cases. Stare at the rifle through the case, remembering all the times it has taunted me with its $3700 price tag. Pull rifle from case and triumphantly rip tag off. Turn to grab all extra magazines that will fit it.

Grab Springfield Armory M1A and all spare magazines. Grab SVD/SVD Clone and all spare magazines.

Grab the pre-ban Benelli M3 that Maverick didn't buy, If someone took it, take one of the Benelli M4s that they have in stock.

Place rifles on balcony by chair. Return to the assault rifle area. Stare at the black SCAR-L, think of Ordo friends, hope they are okay. D:

Reach into optics case and grab a Trigicon x4 self-illuminated ACOG for Galil, a second for the M1A, and a PSO for the SVD/SVD clone, and a EOTech for the Benelli.

Mount optics on rifles and zero with bore sighters.

Assist others in preparing weapons and ammunition to defensive points as we defend and sleep in shifts.

In case of food shortage, load up UZI or PS90 and take Hummer to nearest super market to replenish supply. Only travel in groups and always with smaller weapons for ease fo transport and closer range encounters, should they be unavoidable.

---Plan 2---

In some bizzare case that the gun shop is taken over by zombies...

Get plane to Israel. Join IDF's defense.

The following is known about Israel:

-No need to worry about Jewish Zombies. Human flesh is not kosher.

-Israel fought off 3-5 nations of living hostiles before. Fighting off 3-5 nations of brain-dead zombies is a cakewalk.

-Clear escape route by sea.

-All the Mediterranean food you can eat.

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Sledgehammer, machete, rope, bottled water, hiking pack (and camelbak), various survival and first aid tools (Knife, basic light tools kit, maps, etc), sword (not kidding), camera, binocs, laptop, handcrank operated LED flashlight (very bright) changes of clothing. I can, if necessary, get anything else I need with most of this.

Escape would likely be out the back door through the patio. It might hurt, but I'm reasonable sure I can drop down to the first floor without killing myself or breaking my legs. Sledgehammer is fiberglass shaft, securely connected tot he head. Makes an excellent, durable weapon in a pinch, as well as able to break locks, windows, doors, and barricades. Ditto machete. I can forage, link up with other survivors, and work my way towards colder areas where it is likely the decomposing,roving masses of the undead will be slowed down and hindered while the survivors and I formulate a more effective plan. By then, we will have fulfilled a checklist of other requirements and gear, which I actually have stored in my backpack for any nightmarish survival situation. Hopefully, we can locate a military installation which is likely to be best equipped to have repelled the zombies, or a larger gathering of survivors, though I would avoid mobs. The difference being a mob will be panicked, unwilling to accept their conditions, unruly, undisciplined, and destructive to itself. Survivors will be collected, if not in the best mental state (the world just ended, after all) and capable of protecting themselves and others.

We would want to establish what sort of zombie threat we were facing. If viral or environmental zombies, then we wait for the zombies to decompose or otherwise die out as they will only survive for so long. Simple estimate is roughly a year, especially in this area of the country where the environment will breakdown and kill off large numbers of zombies rapidly over a few months time alone. Supernatural Zombies might be a bit more difficult to outlast, as the hellish and otherworldly energies that bind them to the mortal plane may well indefinitely sustain their state.

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I cant partake in this, because id be army by this point and have access to all the cool kid toys, provided I dont die defending a Walmart turned MASH.

If dicking around at home on leave though : Grab .357 and check around and see if anything has power without turning on a major lightsource. Then check outside if it looks like theres zombie joggers outside with their zombie dogs. If all clear, turn on small lights just incase, check TV if any reports or spooky alert noises, If no power, then no power, move to next part of story. Get dressed, throw on my old "Nucking Futs" tshirt, wear some BDUs or ACUs for more pocket power, put on my Tact belt with the mag bag, ass bag and side bag, cause I love pockets. Wear my black leather combat boots because the tan ones soak up water and fluids like a bitch. Throw over a hiking backpack with the, you guessed it, pockets on the sides of the bag. (Im going through 110 degree temp heatwaves, im not wearin a Ffffton of coats or whatever, armor is gettin' sacrificed)

Grab all the medicine : aspirin, ibuprofhen, anti septics, band aids or bandage wrap, that bottle of rare breed whiskey off the shelf, nyquil for when or if I get into a safe spot to sleep, ill probably be too lit to do it naturally. Big shit like bottles and the whiskey go into the bag, small shit into the belt pockets, etc. Organizing for Adventure.

Raid the kitchen : Grab the cans of chunky soup, mainly because its the only brand I know that dosent taste like shit if it dosent get cooked.Plus, it uses pull tabs instead of needing a can opener, also because its chunky soup, if you dont eat it, a zombie NFL mom is gonna slap the shit out of you later on down the road. Grab a few sport bottles and fill with water, stuff all that shit in the bag.

Technology : Check cell service, if it works, see whos alive. If it dosent, happily throw it as hard as I can on the floor because it means "Im not gonna get texted every hour or so by people who want to talk via texting and not by actually calling! Ffff yeah! :D ". Snag handheld CB radio, battery is dead. FML radio, FML.

Defense : Throw away the stupid six shooter (Being threatened with Zombie crowd control, not a gentlemens duel). Grab Panther AR15, 8 magazines full. AR15 slung over shoulder, magazines in the magbag (gonna be a bitch saving empty and storing full ones in that mag later on if shit gets bad) Grab remington 12g, dump a mess of shells in the ass bag, sling over the other shoulder. Snag the SOG knife for utility purposes, store it somewhere. Grab a metal baseball bat, slide it between my body and tact belt, tighten the belt so its snug under the pommel and hangs there. Baseball bat has gotta be the more effective weapon here, no ammo required, dosent get dull, and wont break. Especially if you got one of the older ones.

Transport : Steal moms Taurus since its a V6 and better on gas than my more classic and not made of plastic Lincoln. Keep vehicle in garage, turn the sucker on then hit the door remote (make sure im ready to bolt out, so nothing gets privvy to the sound of the door) Back it out the driveway and take off. Avoiding large groups of zombies if any, that may send a body through the windshield or cause the vehicle to get stuck on a pile and unable to find traction (knowing my luck, i just thought id mention that) and avoid major roads that might have a clusterFfff of vehicles littered all over it.

Where we goin : Not into town thats for sure. Stores, Gas stations, Hospitals, clinics, etc, if you thought about stopping by it, chances are 100 others already did. Its either infested with the ghoulies or you run the risk of getting your shit looted. I mean, you gotta think your not the only one whos surviving up until this point. Someone might be getting desperate or psychopathic, eitherway, gotta watch out for that 3rd party.

Soo, gettin' out of town, lucky I live in a semi rural suburb so thats kind of easy to do. Head out to a buddy of mine who lives on a farm, bout 10 miles away and 5miles into a "zone of nowhere". Chances are he'll be alive and oblivious to whats going on because he hardly has any reason to leave. Shack up there and see how long survival lasts till we gotta run.

----If not at home, at Sill-----

Provided we dont let anything infected in or live long, ill be able to just lol at zombie hordes trying to walk into an artillery base sitting on the open flat plains.

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Protip: Me-lee weapons against zombies is a bad idea. We're talking traditional shambling zombies here, so attacking them from close range is a bad idea. Why? Them Ffffers bite. A good me-lee weapon in a man on zombie slugfest is a large stick with something sharp hooked onto the end. For example, tools for cutting branches on high trees are excellent weapon against the undead hordes. Snip snip, off comes the head as long as you apply enough force. Generally however, getting into a close range battle with an undead horde is the worst thing you want to do. You always want to avoid the masses, which is why you travel light. If forced into a confrontation with the undead, however, you should pack a firearm with a small magazine size, such as a revolver or a small hunting rifle. They'll be slow enough for you to walk away from them, but their masses will likely be far too great for you to defeat. Which is why you always want to fight a retreating battle.

P.S,

Condoms work great for waterproofing equipment.

Also ITT:

Overweight zombie survival.

Discuss.

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Protip: Me-lee weapons against zombies is a bad idea. We're talking traditional shambling zombies here, so attacking them from close range is a bad idea. Why? Them Ffffers bite. A good me-lee weapon in a man on zombie slugfest is a large stick with something sharp hooked onto the end. For example, tools for cutting branches on high trees are excellent weapon against the undead hordes. Snip snip, off comes the head as long as you apply enough force. Generally however, getting into a close range battle with an undead horde is the worst thing you want to do. You always want to avoid the masses, which is why you travel light. If forced into a confrontation with the undead, however, you should pack a firearm with a small magazine size, such as a revolver or a small hunting rifle. They'll be slow enough for you to walk away from them, but their masses will likely be far too great for you to defeat. Which is why you always want to fight a retreating battle.

I made that spew on the general idea that, I didnt know if they were the slow ones or the ones that ran like raped apes.

But anything sharp will dull. Anything that can be resharpened will be wittled down. A metal bat is blunt and more about blunt force and knock back. A six shooter or small magazine idea leaves me paranoid. You get a break in from a mob of them, or have to deal with another human gone rogue. Unless your rocking those moon clips, im not screwing with something I have to load bullet by bullet.

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I doubt you would want to carry a sledgehammer very far. I would also imagine it to be cumbersome in a fight.

I'm a fairly large, strong guy. I know how to use melee weapons quite well. I'd avoid large groups, but I have a feeling that my biggest issue will be zombies in small spaces, where they can only attack a few at a time, or are isolated from hordes in locations that you may not have time or practically engage them with a shotgun or pistol. Plus, as I said. I can get the weapons I need if I have a sledgehammer to batter down a door, window, lock, etc. If you're facing a shambling horde, you'd be insane to try to take on or maneuver through a large collection. It's easy enough to knock a zombie over with a thrust with the head of the sledgehammer to the sternum. You can then either try to flee or dispatch the zombie right there, and it doesn't require that much force or room to do so.

My point being most people don't know jack shit about how to use a melee weapon to begin with.

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I'd think you need high stop power weapons and not high penetration things.

Shotguns or flat tipped bullets etc etc.

we're pretty much screwed over in Europe because we're not allowed to have weapons, but there is a military base not that far away that should have some stuff :-)

Including tanks, im pretty sure zombies dont know how to get into those..

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I'd think you need high stop power weapons and not high penetration things.

Shotguns or flat tipped bullets etc etc.

we're pretty much screwed over in Europe because we're not allowed to have weapons, but there is a military base not that far away that should have some stuff :-)

Including tanks, im pretty sure zombies dont know how to get into those..

You'd be pretty set in any fairly modern apc, tank or assault veichle, as the huge majority are not only utterly unopenable from the outside save with some serious firepower or cutting equipment. And most also come with built in vacuum seal doors and anti chemical/radiation/poison attack air filtration systems. You could even buy your own FV-432 in operational condition for around £10,000 used, and by used I mean it sat on an mod base for five years doing the odd training run. Seats 14, has all the hazmat gear, dual-fuel power-pack engine. Definately my veichle of choice in a zombie apocalypse.

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For Europeans, it is necessary to take refuge in Switzerland

In each house, there is at least a weapon of war (FASS 90). See several weapons, such as K31 of the second world war, the FASS 57. As well as weapons civilians. There is also for 2 weeks of food per anybody which live in the house. Is an obligation for the Swiss citizens (laws)

The old houses, built during the time of the cold war, must have a bunker normally (is laws of the country). Each cities and villages have a nuclear anti bunker.

Moreover, in the mountains, to dig in the rock, is enormous bunker which can receive whole military units, with vehicles, tank and even of… Planes! :suprised:

http://www.dailymoti...-suisse-et_news

http://www.dailymoti...rt-de-burg_tech

To notice, I know that there is a bunker which can contain 2000 men, in Belgium. I know the place and the exact entry of this bunker (Flanders) :plot:

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I would use Zrazor as zombie bait, using his garish, glitter-clad self and obnoxious hipster banter to draw a horde directly into the fuel-drenched tiger pits and fields of land mines .

Wash, Rinse, Repeat.

Zrazor is also fully replaceable with any number of the irritating, smirking hipsters that abound in the Portland Metropolitan Area.

With any luck, I will expend any surviving hipsters in my plan, and exterminate any of the undead ones with the punji-traps.

Might employ shark-pits and pirahana moats, if Volcano base can be secured.

Might also attempt variation using aging Hippy types wearing tie-dye clothing blasting Grateful Dead as bait, as well. Will use promise of a narco-utopian, all natural artist enclave as bait for hippies.

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