Completely true facts. Totally.

[Ethan Schuman]

In the spirit of the other random facts thread, I've decided to start another. In this thread, the object is to post a Chuck Norris fact generator style "fact" about the person who posted before you. Since this is the first post in this thread, I'll post one about Aryte.

Aryte's fur isn't naturally white. Color just knows better than to fuck with his coat.

[Lanny Ansar]

Little kids wear Superman Pajamas at night. Superman wears Ethan Schuman Pajamas at night.

Edit: forgot that damn C. Like naming your kid Juston, but having it pronounced as Justin.

Edited June 26, 2010 by Lanny Ansar

[Jason Backer]

When Pedobear goes to sleep at night, he checks under his bed for Nanao.

[Cygna]

If you work in an office with Mr. Backer, don't ask him for his three-hole-punch.

[Agares Tretiak]

In Return of the Jedi, the only trap that Admiral Akbar was worried about was Intus.

[Cyphre Iredell]

There were actually 5 horses of the Apocalypse, and on it sat Agares

[Corsi Mousehold]

Cyphre is so badass, she once appeared in Thorium and Chthonic Syndicate spontaneously got on their knees. Or was that cause they surrendered? I dunno.

[Tiridates Mikadze]

God so admired Cyphre's cleavage, he made the Grand Canyon as a miniature homage.

EDIT:

True Story: Corsi punched a hole through the head of Mayra Roffo the first time they met on the battlefield by staring hard.

[Kellervo]

The CIA tried and failed 638 times to assassinate Fidel Castro. Tiridates tried once, and realized it was too easy for him.

[Exterminatus Footman]

 Keller once escaped from a Japanese fishing boat using only a "Dora the Explorer" balloon, a handful of uncooked instant grits, and a DVD containing videos from the Texas board of tourism. 

[Arokh Takakura]

Exterminatus once re-wrote the entire english dictionary, so that every word only had five letters.

[Ron Bleac]

A sleeping Arokh was once mistaken for a heavy-duty construction vehicle, and was ticketed and towed into Police custody for parking illegally. The Police dept. had a hard time replacing their destroyed office space, and insurance could not cover the cost of all of the burned out, or otherwise destroyed vehicles.

[Jason Backer]

Godzilla is a true story based on Ron Bleac's first trip to Japan.

[Cygna]

Mr. Backer is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

[Eriksson Foxtrot]

Intus can touch MC Hammer.

[Crash Silverfall]

If erik wasn't here, there would be one less fruit.

[Nrom Normandy]

Crash Silverfall's tears cure cancer. Too bad for all those inflicted around the world, however, as Crash Silverfall never cries. Ever.

Edited June 28, 2010 by Nrom Normandy

[Kellervo]

Nrom once shot down a Vanguard fleet ship with his finger, by yelling "BANG!"

[Agares Tretiak]

When the earth was formed, it had no water. Then Keller was created, and the angels wept for his lack of open ocean. Those tears are what formed the seas.

[Scientific Waffle]

On July 26, 1925, William Jennings Bryan called Keller a fish.

Edited June 28, 2010 by Scientific Waffle

[Tiridates Mikadze]

Scientific, in a brilliant display of tactical distraction, danced wearing only a pad of butter to attract the fearsome attention of an assaulting force of Breakfasteers.

[Cyphre Iredell]

Tiridates got really sick of his ridiculous commute one day... and so fell the Berlin Wall.

[Tiridates Mikadze]

Cyphre beat Muhammad Ali in a boxing match with both arms tied behind her back.

[RazorFox]

Tiridates Mikadze had lunch with Charles Manson in 2008. Mikadze described Manson as "a bit boorish and quite the dullard," while Manson described Mikadze as "kind of fucked up in the head."

[Agares Tretiak]

Zrazor was the one in control of the Brain Squids. The illusion was ALL ACCORDING TO PLAN.