Bruno Ziskey's Pile of Shit 'Weekly Wisdom' - Read for Lulz

[Nivanglus Aya]

THE WEEKLY WISDOM

Written and handed out by the Benevolent

King Bruno Ziskey

7/7/08

***Military Section***

MERCZ ATTEMPT TO PROVE THEIR ATTACHMENT-BASED URIEL IS FAIR, AND FAIL

EPICALLY IN THE PROCESS!

Two weeks ago, Avil Creegan, former Alliance Navy Fleet scriptor, arranged

a meeting with Our King Bruno Ziskey, Air Force Pilot Officer Luci Himmel, and

Air Force Air Marshal Tracy Laszlo in an attempt to prove that not only was the new

Uriel legal, but that it was fair. The meeting began with Bruno Ziskey and Luci

Himmel outlining why they determined the Uriel to be unfair. Among the reasons were:

1. The Uriel, due to being an attachment, did not have to follow normal SL vehicle

physics rules, which meant that the aircraft could do anything, even fire straight

down. Normally, SL aircraft using the Hammerhead hover script cannot aim straight

down in mouselook. This was something the Lindens built into the whole physics

system, and even defined vehicles very strictly on their website. Due to the fact

that the Uriel was not even definable as a vehicle by the Lindens, nobody should

really take the fact that the Mercz think their new super jump pack equivalent

to a vehicle is a real aircraft at all, thus illegal.

2. The fact that the attachment Uriel does not require the pilot to rez it, sit in

and then fly means that Uriel pilots could teleport in other flying pilots within

seconds, as is their habit on the ground. With this ability, entire wings could

cover the skies in an instant. Fairness? Not a chance in hell.

3. Another show of abuse the Mercz would show with the new Uriel is that they could

easily "walk" into an enemy base, and start up their aircraft inside, or simply

be teleported inside the base. This would mean that Mercz would have heavy fire

power directly inside the enemy base. Nobody in their right minds would deny that

such a thing could happen, whether it's Mercz or anyone else. Would any other group

wield such a weapon, Sparta would immediately point out it's abuse ability, with

King Bruno doing everything in his power to ensure that the other group be punished.

4. One of the final statements made from Sparta's side was that there had to be a

final place to stop, a wall of advancement where scripting would stop and go no

further. vehicles would stay vehicles, and infantry stay infantry, etc. In order to

ensure fair play, rules must be established...by the groups themselves. If they

cannot look at their weapons and other equipment and say without a doubt in ANY

of their minds "yes this is legal and fair to the enemy" then they must look back

and turn back the clock, ridding themselves of such weapons as attachment based

aircraft, phantom seeker missiles fired at impossibly high speeds, traps in the

form of a hostage taker that doesnt die after the one taking the hostage dies.

Such equipment must be purged from BOTH sides of this ongoing Grid War. If no side

can stop, can reach the wall and decide to not go around, under, over, or through

it, then combat CAN be fair, and CAN be fun once more.

For the Mercz, Avil Creegan took a suspiciously long time to answer the accusations

and points made by Sparta, with Luci Himmel taking a key point in describing the

scripting ways in which the Uriel was not legal, the Linden definition of vehicles

being one. It is highly suspected that he was begging the Mercz High Command to give

him something to fire back at Sparta in return, and when he did so, he made points

such as:

1. The area in which the avatar can be killed is the same in both the attachment-

based and true physical flying Uriel. Sparta acknowledged this and allowed Avil to

continue.

2. Because STABLE holds a clause allowing worn attachment vehicles, the Uriel was

in actuality legal. It is here that Bruno lost his temper, venting on how it didn't

matter that the Uriel was legal. As stated above, Bruno Ziskey pointed out how

legality should not be the only deciding factor as whether to use a certain piece

of equipment or not, but rather it is HONORABLE to use it. Phantom missiles

may be legal, but that does not mean that they should be used. Sparta's own

missiles for instance, are solid, fired at a steady 60 m/s, and don't even move,

instead they fly forwards until they detect an aircraft right by it and then

explode. Avil tried to reason that yes, STABLE was flawed, but honor had nothing

to do with it, legality was the key reason he was there to argue for the Uriel in

the first place.

It is here that the meeting more or less ended, neither side willing to

give in to the other, with Bruno Ziskey making one final statement: "Harry Truman,

President of the United States from 1945-1953, had a saying, 'The Buck Stops Here'.

I have my own saying,'The Morality Starts Here.'" Having said this message, Bruno

Ziskey became silent once more, leaving the Mercz with something to think on,

although it is highly unlikely that they can understand such a thing.

􀀁

VANGUARD ATTEMPT TO MAKE OWN MECH, BUT COPY 39TH'S INSTEAD!

It was recently found that the Vanguard have made their own mech...but due

to them having little to no imagination, they have copied the basic 39th MHTF mech,

the SZ.06. Equipping it with their typical spammy guns, rockets, missiles, and their

infamous Rocket pack that allows it to travel across an entire sim in one jump, with

no fuel requirement, the Vanguard have begun to increasingly use this perverted

piece of equipment in combat, most recently in an attack on the Alliance Navy with

both 2142 and Sparta assisting in the defense of the AN. While the sounds of

Vanguard splattering against the AN High Command Tower like bugs on a windshield was a welcome sound, the Vanguards mech was not, as it proved time and again how

pathetic the VG really are, never coming up with anything original, simply

copying something else and calling it their own. Below is an attached picture of the

VG Mech alongside a 39th Mech.

􀀀

IRON EAGLE NAVY RISE AGAIN....AS TRAITORS!

As the IEN rose once again, it has decided to ally itself with the Emo

Alliance (Ordo, Mercz, and MC), most closely with Ordo. The reason for this is due

to the fact that IEN's new leader, Raymond Donat, has been shown to stop caring

about fair fights, and get on what he sees is the "winning" side of this war.

In other words, he cares not about fair fights, he simply wants to spam flags on

an enemy base and beat his chest, not realizing his actions are those of an idiot.

Indeed, in a recent attempt by Bruno Ziskey to talk to Raymond about the IEN, who

are using copied versions of the MC armor, and Midgar SHINRA armor, the only thing

Raymond did was talk in capital letters, as if his caps lock was broken. He also

garbled on and on, such as "OH HOW MIGHY KING BRUNO YOU SO GREAT LOLOLOL YOU GIVE ME WISDOM NOW" and so on....There was no point in trying to talk to one who sounds and acts like an idiot...especially as IEN have no official base, and still attack

groups like 2142 and Sparta, always trying to catch their targets when they are

undermanned. It seems IEN has quickly learned the enemy tactics, going for the easy

kill when they could choose a tougher opponent, one who has numbers even or greater

than their own, which Sparta regularly does, always trying to be more fair to the

defenders. One can only see how much in debt IEN is to the Ordo, who seem to be

spoon feeding the IEN to full strength, such is the weakness of IEN's own leader

that he cannot do anything on his own.

ORDO IMPERIALIS REVEALS THEIR COWARDICE: FAIR NUMBERS? BAH, WHO NEEDS'M?

The Ordo Imperialis, cowardly Warhammer 40k fans who hide in their sim and

spawn kill anyone who's not an ally, have recently shown their true cowardice: Not

even wanting to attack an enemy base that's evenly numbered and then calling it a

"win." On their website, at the link

http://www.ordoimperialis.com/ordo/forum/v...d=20&thread_id=

414&pid=5092#post_5092

We can see how Ordo came at 2142's base that had narry but a few defenders, with

Ordo overwhelming the poor 2142 and then proclaiming themselves victorious by s

pamming their flags all over and then spawn camping the defenders so they wouldnt

pose any threat. ordo are known for NEVER attacking ane enemy base unless (1) It is

undermanned, and (2) the Ordo must always use at least 3 to 1 tactics, as they have

no faith in their own training or weapons, known to be among the laggiest around,

second only to Merczateer equipment. The Ordo have never known a fair fight, never

even tried. They claim to have sent in smaller numbers, but there is no recorded

incident of such a small attack.

The Ordo never even come out of their own sim unless it is to swarm an

enemy base. But why do they swarm so? Why do they have so little faith in their own

training that they can actually fight with fair tactics, going one on one and not

spawn camp? Truth is, Ordo have no conscience, no little voice that says "shouldn't

do that, it's not fair." Instead, the Ordo simply push the God Mode button, puffing

themselves up to look important by spreading videos of their supposed greatness

(yeah, killing AN mannequins...nice going Ordo, no way you could miss now that they

can't move!). NO matter what should happen in SL Combat, Ordo will always remain

among the worst...right after Mercz.

***Phalanx***

The Prometheus Flamethrower/Napalm Launcher, built by Navy officer tych

Voyager and scripted by Luci Himmel and Bruno Ziskey, is now available for any

Phalanx of E-5 rank or higher. Allowing the Phalanx to fight in close or medium

range, the Prometheus is capable of setting our enemies on fire, cleansing them

from where they stand and sending them back to the pit of decay where they came

from. The Prometheus is also available to any Spartan of other branches if they are

E-9 or above.

***Home***

SPARTAN SKY BASE

The Spartan Sky Base is almost complete! Almost three times the size of the

older sky base, it is now 90% complete, with only launch docks and the joint

Branch Commander Office to be done, the Sky Base is now better able to defend itself

from invaders who seek to destroy Sparta from the skies by infesting our base with

their presence.

MARRIAGE SET, FOR KING AND QUEEN OF SPARTA!

The King and Queen of Sparta are officially set to be married in SL at Noon, Sunday

this weekend. The marriage will be held in the newly redesigned Sky Base, with Navy

officer tych Voyager as the Priest. The Best Man and Woman are yet to be announced,

but all allies, civilians are freely allowed to attend the wedding, although enemies

must secure permission from the King himself before being allowed to attend the

wedding, where they will be permitted to wear full armor but no weapons. Pacific

Breeze will be set to no damage for the day, with a dance celebration following the

wedding.

***Editorial***

Note: The opinions expressed in the editorials are the

opinions of the benevolent King Bruno Ziskey, always known

as the upholder of honor and fair fighting. Read his words

and follow his examples, for he wishes to only teach you

how to carry yourself with pride, with the knowledge that

you are so much better than the cowardly filth that attacks

us. If you should wish to write something for the Editorials,

feel free to. Simply send in a notecard to Bruno Ziskey,

and after it being editted for removal of any curses or

grammar errors, it will be published in the next available

issue of Weekly Wisdom. It does not really matter what the

editorial is about, can even be critical about something

or someone, so long as these criticisms have merit and

proof. If you wish to be posted as Anonymous, that is also

acceptable. Remember that any editorial posts you make can

and likely WILL be answered in the same issue by the King

or another upholder of the Spartan Light of Truth, Honor

and Fair Play.

STOP WITH THE CHEATING, BOTH SIDES ALREADY!

Seriously, every time I log on it seems like I'm hit with yet another

stupidity of "new technology" aka something that's unfair but somehow legal by

STABLE standards....funny thing is, the cheating goes on both the AI and Emo

Alliance's side. I see Ordo with their laggy Mech that spams a wall of bullets,

Mercz with their Breach charges that go past 5m, their attachment Uriels that

cry "abuse me, abuse me! cheat, cheat!"...I see Militant Collective bombing their

own telehub with explosives whenever an enemy enters it "Is that an enemy? Oh boy,

SHOOT IT SHOOT IT BEFORE THEY GET OUT!"...I have also sadly seen AN use their

STRANGELOVE bomb that goes to 96m for a blast radius, their phantom seeker missiles, and their mine laying ship that spams mines across an entire sim. I don't know about

any other groups as I spend most of my time in my own sim, building, scripting and

training other Spartans, but I do hope I won't find any more instances of them

cheating. By far the worse cheaters are the Vanguard, and I really don't have to

list their cheating equipment because, quite frankly, every one of their equipment

pieces is spammy and pathetic.

And this brings me up to my point: why? Why do all this? Why use such under-

handed tactics and weapons and pat yourselves on the head for "being epic and

special?" These days, it's the group with better(translation: laggier, spammier,etc)

equipment who "wins," it's no longer about real abilities and tactics. In the old

days, before STABLE, before all this nonsense with breach charges, seeker missiles,

phantom aircraft was started, there was only a few choices of ammo: bullets, nades,

small rockets that half the time didnt kill, and bombs that used 10x10x10 damage

prims and not small prims that used llMoveto or whatever to kill.....in other words,

it was a time when real abilities were needed and created, where talent decided

the victor. The one who could really flank the enemy, and not always overwhelm, won.

Not "OMG LET'S SEND A GIANT BOMB IN NOW AND WIN" or "LOOK AT THIS FLYING ATTACHMENT AIRCRAFT, IT'S REVOLUTIONARY, BUT DON'T WORRY, WE WON'T ABUSE IT, WE'RE HONEST FIGHTERS" Sparta is a small group, and yet one of the oldest surviving and active military groups on the Grid. Due to this, I am able to look at the bigger militaries and see where they are going wrong, where they are using "better" scripts and tactics that really don't make combat fair or fun at all. It's very sad. Why can't

we go back to those times? Why can't we rely on abilities versus who has the

spammier weapon? Hell, I'd even settle for unlimited ammo just as long as it's not

spammy and is closer to the first assault rifles made that werent much more than a

modded popgun script...

We are in a time where scripts can become freebied the next day, and where

"revolutionary" scripts end up making the rest of us blink and say

"how is that fair?" The "better" scripts seem to get, the more bans that seem to

happen. I want Mercz, Ordo, and the AN to think back to when they were first

starting out, when they had much more simple weapons. Wasn't that more fun, to fight

with weapons that didn't seek out the nearest thing without you really putting any

effort into it at all? wasn't it less laggy, wasn't it better? The simple answer

that this question will get is a "no." Sad thing is, SL military groups are

addicted to "better" scripts. There really is no limit, no binding rule that puts

a hold on how far you can go, since most groups say "well HE has it, so why can't

I?" This of course creates more problems as the Arms Race continues...

Look at normal Roleplays like Star Wars, Gor, Final Fantasy, and so on. They

have rules on what weapons can and cannot be used. The rules are final, and are not

changed. Why? Because they're basing it off of something that already exists,

something that they can't warp without it being revealed as not the real thing, and

so RP is broken. Why can't we be more like that? Why can't we clearly define

what is really legal....and then fucking stick to it? Right now, groups like Mercz,

Ordo, and VG are making their own versions of STABLE so they can use whatever

weapons they want and say "see? It's legal, says it right here." This destroys the

entire purpose of STABLE, which was to create a document that all parties would

closely follow. Personally, I think a group should also control itself and not

just follow a written document, but an honor code. They should always think about

the enemy, if they are being fair to the enemy, and not just about themselves. Such

thinking has lead us to the current state of combat, where bans are handed out like

dollars in a dancer's thong, and groups actually hate one another. This isn't combat

anymore, this is just a soap opera. Can't we just fight and get along? So long as

the enemy does stupid things, the Weekly Wisdom will survive. If the enemy truly

wishes to silence the Wisdom, then they must ensure that they have nothing that

provides an unfair and unfun combat experience for EITHER side.

***HEALTH***

Remember that most of our enemies are kids in RL

who are too weak to have a high self esteem and so they act

out their frustrations on us by cheating and seeming like

they're gods. I hope to avoid this same problem by making

you strong in both mind AND body, as I am.

SPARTAN EXERCISE OF THE WEEK!

Rotations/Upright Rows

Main Muscle Worked: Shoulders

Other Muscles Worked: None

Equipment: Weights

Mechanics Type: Isolation

How To Do:

Shoulder rotations work the rotator cuff and usually require smaller range of

motion and light weight to avoid injury. Upright rows work the middle deltoid as

well as the upper back and bicep muscles. If you have shoulder problems, you may

want to avoid these exercises.

SPARTAN HEALTH FOOD OF THE WEEK!

Yigandes Plaki: Baked Beans & Tomato Casserole

In Greek: Pronounced YEE-ghahn-dess plah-KEE

Ingredients:

* 1 pound of yigandes (or big lima beans), soaked for 12 hours, drained

* 2-3 cloves of garlic, minced

* 2 medium onions, finely chopped

* 1/2 cup of olive oil

* 1 pound of ripe tomatoes, peeled, finely chopped (or 16oz. of canned chopped

plum tomatoes)

* 2 small cubes of vegetable bouillon (or beef for non-vegetarians/non-vegans)

* sea salt (optional)

* freshly ground pepper

* 2 tablespoons of fresh parsley, chopped

* 2 cups of water (1 1/2 cups if using canned tomatoes)

Add the beans to a pot with enough cold water to cover well. Bring to a boil,

reduce heat and cook at a slow boil for 1 hour. Drain and set aside.

Preheat the oven to 325F (160C).

Using a wooden spoon, saut

[Agares Tretiak]

What. The. Hell.

Biggest pile of crap I've seen since I worked at a zoo shoveling crap from the elephant pens.

[Jester Spearmann]

same shit day in day out i think the only thing he changes are who he hates at that moment and whatever wierd recipies he finds

[Cygna]

Bruno has a hating problem.

[Aeriese Descenna]

I was under the impression that bullshit only comes out a bull's ass, but it looks like I've been proven wrong

[Jayce Iredell]

That is the most insanely idiotic thing I have ever read, at no point in his rambling incoherent speech; was he anywhere close to anything that resembles a rational thought. Infact everyone in this thread is no dumber, for having read it.

[Nivanglus Aya]

Showin this shit to the AN 'hai guiz, look wut bruno thinks of u lolz'

[Rei Kuhr]

Wow, I'm starting to actually feel sorry for him. Extra chromosomes must suck.

[Cyphre Iredell]

*scribbles down the recipe* o.o

Err, well this seems to confuse me even further as to whether or not Bruno is simply 'acting the part' which makes it purposefully hilarious (even if he's not flamboyant enough), or not, making this dreadfully depressing in regards to his mental health. Not to say that I've not known people of this archetype before (online and real life), but it doesn't usually go on for so long...

Either way, its frickin hilarious!! :D

Other than everything after the 'Editorial' which was a repeat of whining about cheating over and over again.

[Lestat Umarov]

So who's going to the wedding? XD

[Hunter Abrams]

I had to listen to his idiocy im not ready it again not worth losing the 50 odd IQ points >_>

I did try to read it though....

[Cyphre Iredell]

omg I totally wanna go to the wedding... Even says we can wear full regalia sans weapons!

[Kristian]

Bruno makes my second life so much funnier. Seriously it makes me giggle to think that he is sitting in his chair ,noticing he even fails in a virtual world where everyone has equal chances of success and start bitch crying as a kid that lost his candy to a bigger kid.

I stopped caring about Bruno long ago.Just let him believe he is Bruce All mighty. I am sure that even he knows he will never get laid.

[Tiridates Mikadze]

*stands up and claps thunderously*

BRAVO, BRAVO!

He's the best ham I've seen since last Christmas.

[Aelus]

We must show sympathy for Mr. Ziskey, he's getting married.

Wait, no we don't.

[Lestat Umarov]

[14:28] Lestat Umarov: Excuse me, are you online?

[14:28] Bruno Ziskey: Yes.

[14:28] Lestat Umarov: I was wondering if it might be possible to get an invitation to your wedding.

[14:29] Bruno Ziskey: You can be put on the list. I will be sending a formal invitation later this week outlining protocol to be followed by all guests, including no armor being allowed to be worn along with no weapons.

[14:30] Lestat Umarov: I appreciate it. I'll wear a suit then. I've never seen the sim before so it will be a new experience for me. :3

[14:30] Bruno Ziskey: I can bet.

Got my invitation in the bag. ;D

[Lestat Umarov]

Emma Roy wrote:

Lestat Umarov wrote:

[14:28] Lestat Umarov: Excuse me, are you online?

[14:28] Bruno Ziskey: Yes.

[14:28] Lestat Umarov: I was wondering if it might be possible to get an invitation to your wedding.

[14:29] Bruno Ziskey: You can be put on the list. I will be sending a formal invitation later this week outlining protocol to be followed by all guests, including no armor being allowed to be worn along with no weapons.

[14:30] Lestat Umarov: I appreciate it. I'll wear a suit then. I've never seen the sim before so it will be a new experience for me. :3

[14:30] Bruno Ziskey: I can bet.

Got my invitation in the bag. ;D

Heretic!

...(Joking) Enjoy the ceremony

I'll most definitely "enjoy" the ceremony. :3